Sadly, my time in the Philippines was tainted by the skin infection. By day 4, both of my inner thighs and lower abdomen were covered in this red rash type thing and painful. It hurt to walk. I started to panic as I began to see spots appear on my torso around day 6. I reached my apartment Sunday evening and burst into tears from the sheer pain of travel all day. By day 7, I called in sick and dragged my poor body to the hospital in hopes of an answer. I know I have no allergies, and being on no medication, I couldn't figure out a possible hypothesis. The doctors didn't know either. I saw 3 doctors my first day and had a skin biopsy. I would spend the next week and a half bouncing between the hospitals and my apartment, doing everything I can relieve the pain on my body. I was terrified, watching my skin become covered in this weird red rash thing, feeling so much pain that the physical act of walking hurt. I called home crying nearly every day.
Now, I look almost normal again. My torso is nearly completely back to it's regular skin color. The red has faded to a soft hue of tan, which is gradually decreasing back to the normal pale white it was before. My arms are an odd mixture of pale pink areas with the regular skin that wasn't affected. My hands are still peeling, but beginning to heal. My legs and feet are still covered in red spots, waiting to go through the process of peeling before they can change back to normal again.
I still wake up during the night, itching and uncomfortable. I still have to apply lotion to my skin every 6-8 hours, otherwise I bcome very uncomfortable as my skin loses the moisture I gave it through the lotion. I still expect to feel pain when I walk, and am surprised by being able to walk normal.
When my doctor diagnosed the skin infection as AGEP, I was surprised. I know I shouldn't doubt the doctors here, but I genuinely didn't believe that he would be able to figure out what was wrong with me.
(for those who are curious, AGEP is a very rare skin infection/reaction. Between 1-5/1,000,000 people are diagnosed with this every year, and 90% of the it is due to a drug reaction. I was one of the lucky few who contracted this through a virus or spider bite reaction. It causes redness in the skin, a scaly appearance where it first starts, extreme dryness, and the skin to peel off by about 3-5 layers. Total time, from start to finish, is about 2 weeks for the process as I've found now. Though b/c my body is going through it in different stages, it is lasting longer for me.) Because AGEP can become worse with pain medication, I was not allowed to take anything stronger than Advil. Given the severity of my discomfort and pain, this did nothing to help. I practically begged him for something, anything. When he told me he thought it might take weeks to heal, I almost started crying. I could barely function- making lunch and dinner took me 2x as long as usual (if I was able to muster the energy to do so at all), I was literally unable to sit still for more than a minute, nothing relieved the pain, and on days where I went to school- I would come home crying in pain.
To be honest, I was afraid. I was scared out of my mind. At the rate the skin infection had been spreading, I fully expected it to cover my whole body. It had already covered 50%. I fully expected to be in intense pain for another 3 to 5 weeks. So when Friday rolled around and I felt little pain, I was ecstatic! And then when Saturday crept into being, and I was still feeling good, I felt like singing and dancing for joy. I couldn't believe how amazing it felt- the pain was almost entirely gone!!! I could walk around without wincing in pain! I could walk at a normal pace! Hell, I could sit still again! I'm still a-ways away from being fully healed, but I'm grateful the worst is over.
As many of you know, the woman in charge for China and I agreed that now is not the best time for me to go to China because of this. Though in reality I may actually be fully healed by the time it came for me to physically fly, I have let the job go. I was sad and scared to do so, and second guessed it more than once, but I know it was the right move. While I had been working towards that job since last December, I know this was God's way of saying No to China. I don't know why, I won't even pretend to understand, but He no longer wants me there. Everything happens for a reason. Everything.
The idea of coming back to the states was nice for about 1 day, but the more I thought about the idea of actually moving back home, the more unsure I became. I believe that God will let me know when I find the right place to be, he will tell me somehow and have me feel it in my heart and soul. Every job I looked at, every country I searched, presented me with nothing. I was discussing this with my friends Sam and Greg this weekend, saying I didn't know where to go. I don't remember if it was me or them, but someone said I could stay in Korea. Then . . .
*BAM*
It hit me like a ton of bricks. God wanted me in Korea.
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Never in a million years did I see that coming! He wants me here? Here?! HERE? Well aren't you a funny man up there. If you had asked me any day and everyday of the past year, up to this past Friday, if I would ever want to stay in Korea, you would have received a resounding and confident, "No." Now? Now I'm fighitng like hell to stay. Thankfully I don't have to fight too hard. I only had to apply to jobs for a day and half before the emails and phone calls started coming. Ever since, recruiters for private schools are practically climbing through my computer and phone to get me to work for them! I just have to find the right fit. The only thing I don't like is that I will have to teach elementary (not my field AT ALL), and I will probably have to work till 6:30 or 7. Not the end of the world, but I rather like have my evenings to go to dinners, bible study, dancing or dance classes. I can work around it, just not crazy about it. Whether I stay for the entire year contract or leave early and join Sam in Thailand for teaching, I don't know yet. I don't know what the future will bring. Just one week ago I was going to China. That's part of the amazing quirkiness of life- it is completely unpredicatble, completely enjoyable, and insatiably adventurous!
Rita
