Wanderings of a Swing Dancer: December 2014

2014 has been a long year. Every year, at the end, when I sit down to reflect on the year in entirety, I always think to myself: "Wow, that was a hard year!". 2009 was hard, when my grandmother passed away as I was flying up to say goodbye. 2010 was a shift, as it was the year I graduated and said goodbye to my friends after college. 2011 was difficult, as I first moved overseas this year. In 2012, I faced a illness that would leave me afraid of a re-occurrence and flashbacks to the pain for months, along with a job that would shake my faith in myself to teach. The year 2013 was a challenge, with my first real exposure to what a cruel break-up means, along with gaining first hand knowledge of what it is like to count ever penny you own just to get by.

This year though, this year was something else. To be honest, it's still hard to believe everything that has happened in the span on 12 months, and to openly admit that, yeah, that was me living through those things.
1 year ago, I was finishing the second semester of graduate school.
1 year ago, my home was in Seoul, South Korea.
1 year ago, I found out that the man who I had trusted and been in a relationship with had been lying to me.
1 year ago, that same man revealed to me that he was married, and had used me to cheat on his wife and son.
10 months ago, his wife contacted me, and what ensued were about 4 months of on and off communication (aka: harassment) from her, blaming me for everything.
7 months ago, all of my belongings and life were packed up and moved back to America.
7 months ago, I said goodbye to some of the best friends I have made during my life in Korea.
5 months ago, China became my new home.
This week, I finish teaching my first semester as a college teacher.

Wow. All that happened in one year? I still struggle to believe it too.

Now, sitting here, I can't believe I went through all of those things in just 365 days. For a long time, I honestly didn't think I would make it. It felt like the struggles, hardship, and sadness would never end, particularly when trying to deal with the cheating married man and his wife. Though neither were bad people outright, they (and I) all made bad decisions which caused increased pain beyond what was necessary. Life was a black tunnel, with no white light at the end. All I knew was constant guilt, anger, blame, and fights.
Now...now life feels completely different.
I am happy again, laughing and enjoying life. It's not the, soul smiling, face hurting, world rocking happiness like I experienced for a brief few days in America, but that was a special kind of happiness. Every week, I get to walk into seven classes and have fun teaching English through conversation or history. Every week, I also try my hand at cooking, and have now mastered a number of new recipes, all from scratch as well. Sure, sometimes I feel lonely, sad, and miss my friends, but that happens to everyone. In only one and a half weeks, I will be traveling to Thailand to celebrate both Christmas and New Years with one of my best friends Sam, my amazing bestie I haven't gotten to see for nearly 2 years. After that, I get to travel to Cambodia again, one of my three favorite countries in the entire world, with my friends Suzanna and Yumiko. After that, it's a journey through China, with stops in Nanjing, Hong Kong, Hainan, Shanghai, and Huangshan. Then, I end it by celebrating one of my best friends weddings in America, along with my Mom's birthday after 4 years of having to miss them. What makes all of it better, is knowing that I paid for the entire adventure with my own hard work and dollars, on a teacher's salary. My parents taught me that bragging is wrong, but it's also good to celebrate the feats you achieve in life- and for me, this is one of them.
It feels like life is finally going in the right direction. And to be honest, after the year I went through, I feel like I deserve it.
All my love,
Rita