It's just over one month into my stay here in Korea, and it's been a non-stop roller coaster ride.
Some days are great, I'm happier then ever and enjoying living in this country more then I can say.
Others, not so much. I get sad, depressed, withdrawn and want to cry. It comes with the territory I think; learning about yourself, adjusting to a new culture/society, and being truly on your own for the first time.
Though it's difficult, my views on living here have changed already, and a plan has begun to form in my head for what I want to do in the next few years with my life. I entered this program planning on staying for only 1 year, and have begun to think I may decide to stay for 2. The pay is great, the hours are good, vacation is supposedly awesome (time shall tell) and I have no reason to return yet. To top it off, I want to go to graduate school back in the states. I would love to go to grad school in the UK, but I have yet to find a school I feel connected with like I have in the US. After I've finished that, I would love to teach abroad again! Possibly in South America, Africa, Germany. Only after living in these other countries for a little bit, then I'd return to the US to teach. I dream of working for a program called KIPP in DC, it's designed for the low SES kids, the underprivileged and usually ignored. It's an amazing school that I hope I can be a part of someday. My dreams and goals are strange, vast, and varied. But now that the world is an open road for me, with possible jobs and connections to virtually every continent, how could I ever pass up the opportunity of doing what I have always dreamed of?
Seeing the world.
I always used to look at people who have traveled the world and go: I want that. I want their life.
Well, I've realized that I can have that life! So, gosh-un-golly, I'm making it!
"If it is to be, it is up to me." ~William H. Johnson
Love,
Rita
Seoul, South Korea
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Happy Bar
Wednesday night I ventured out to find swing dancing at a place called Happy Bar. Up to this point, I had tried twice to find it before, both times failing abysmally. I was overjoyed as I walked into this new found scene, and rejoiced in the fact that for once a dance room wasn't packed. Don't get me wrong, having 200 people to dance with is great, but you have limited room to dance how you'd like. So this dance hall with only 70 or 80 folks was the perfect size for the introvert and semi big dancer that I am.
I quickly put my things down and watched excitedly as the dancers finished their song. I wanted to get a feel of the levels at this scene, and the style. Only two or three songs in, I was asked to dance. After we finished, he had a huge smile on his face and nudged his friend to ask me to dance too! I've never considered myself that good of a dancer, and compared to the ancients in the states, I'm mediocre. But that one guy made me feel amazing.
Later while between songs, another dancer said hi to me in English, and how it was nice to see me again! I felt bad for not recognizing him, but replied in kind enthusiastically all the same. Never (and I mean never) before, had a Korean dancer stopped to say hi to me on his own free will! Suffice to say, I was ecstatic!!! While dancing with another guy, he spoke to me in Korean (asking my name I think). I caught one or two words I knew, so I guessed and was right! He then told me his name! Korean dancers are horribly ridiculously shy, so I was super excited to see a guy speak to me, even in Korean.
At another point, I was dancing with this guy and he did this ariel sort of move on me. It was kind of like around the world, except he only flung me behind his back and then brough me back the same way around the front. I had no idea what was going on, how he got me into it, and how I didn't fail completely at it! We both were laughing and had smiles at the end though!
Then, this one dancer made me feel really great at the end of one of our dances when, as we were saying thank you to each other, he says "You very good. You very good." while laughing and smiling! I didn't know what to say or how to react!
My favorite dancer there though was this one Korean guy. We had danced earlier, and I think have this odd sort of connection even though we can't communicate. As we dance, we have so much fun, laugh and be silly. If one of us screws up, the other rolls with it and makes it something hillariously fun! We were laughing almost the entire song when we danced together for a second time before I left. Koreans may or may not smile while dancing, but rarely have they ever laughed with me while dancing. (I laugh a lot) But at Happy Bar, this guy did! And many others would at least have a big smile and some even gave a small chuckle! I think the folks there are more chill, so they enjoyed my enthusiam instead of finding it strange. I was never lacking on partners while there, and was stopped twice on my way out to be asked to dance. The very last guy I danced with spoke really good English, and was asking me tons of questions. At the end, he was asking me if I'd be coming to Happy Bar every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday now! I couldn't help but laugh! I didn't say yes, since I want to check out the last 4 swing bars on my list (there are a good 14 total bars out here, but I've only chosen 10 to check out). Honestly though, I don't know if I'll ever get around to checking them out now. I've simply fallen in love with Happy Bar. ^.^
Love,
Rita
I quickly put my things down and watched excitedly as the dancers finished their song. I wanted to get a feel of the levels at this scene, and the style. Only two or three songs in, I was asked to dance. After we finished, he had a huge smile on his face and nudged his friend to ask me to dance too! I've never considered myself that good of a dancer, and compared to the ancients in the states, I'm mediocre. But that one guy made me feel amazing.
Later while between songs, another dancer said hi to me in English, and how it was nice to see me again! I felt bad for not recognizing him, but replied in kind enthusiastically all the same. Never (and I mean never) before, had a Korean dancer stopped to say hi to me on his own free will! Suffice to say, I was ecstatic!!! While dancing with another guy, he spoke to me in Korean (asking my name I think). I caught one or two words I knew, so I guessed and was right! He then told me his name! Korean dancers are horribly ridiculously shy, so I was super excited to see a guy speak to me, even in Korean.
At another point, I was dancing with this guy and he did this ariel sort of move on me. It was kind of like around the world, except he only flung me behind his back and then brough me back the same way around the front. I had no idea what was going on, how he got me into it, and how I didn't fail completely at it! We both were laughing and had smiles at the end though!
Then, this one dancer made me feel really great at the end of one of our dances when, as we were saying thank you to each other, he says "You very good. You very good." while laughing and smiling! I didn't know what to say or how to react!
My favorite dancer there though was this one Korean guy. We had danced earlier, and I think have this odd sort of connection even though we can't communicate. As we dance, we have so much fun, laugh and be silly. If one of us screws up, the other rolls with it and makes it something hillariously fun! We were laughing almost the entire song when we danced together for a second time before I left. Koreans may or may not smile while dancing, but rarely have they ever laughed with me while dancing. (I laugh a lot) But at Happy Bar, this guy did! And many others would at least have a big smile and some even gave a small chuckle! I think the folks there are more chill, so they enjoyed my enthusiam instead of finding it strange. I was never lacking on partners while there, and was stopped twice on my way out to be asked to dance. The very last guy I danced with spoke really good English, and was asking me tons of questions. At the end, he was asking me if I'd be coming to Happy Bar every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday now! I couldn't help but laugh! I didn't say yes, since I want to check out the last 4 swing bars on my list (there are a good 14 total bars out here, but I've only chosen 10 to check out). Honestly though, I don't know if I'll ever get around to checking them out now. I've simply fallen in love with Happy Bar. ^.^
Love,
Rita
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Flounder- and not the fish
This goes out to my friends who are or were living and teaching abroad. Did any of you flounder with adjusting to life in another country? And not because the country was different, but because you were a foreigner, alone, in the middle of said giant country?
If you aren't, I'm really happy for you!
But I am. I've been struggling to learn the language (I was always better with ideas, concepts, and numbers- not languages), which makes living here difficult.
Just imagine this in your mind real quick: you exit the subway system. Everything in site is in Korean, with English translations under the subway names and that's it. You wander around for 30 minutes trying to find a store called E-mart (think Target). When you finally find it, it's huge. I'm talking, two stories. And EVERYTHING is in Korean. Now you can't speak the language, read the language, or understand the language- so you're on your own for finding everything. The aisles are long, things all placed together in some order, you just don't know what. You search every aisle for that one thing you're looking for. You've wandered up and down every conceivable aisle and are losing both energy and time. At this point, you don't want to turn back home since you've already dedicated so much time to this effort. You decide to ask someone. Problem: they can't understand you, or vice versa. You're left to resort to miming and pointing at pictures on things in an attempt to make them understand you. They laugh at you, and 50% of the time take you to the right thing. You rejoice in happiness when you find it, and decide to leave while you're ahead. At the checkout, there are no digital signs telling you the cost. So again, you are left to craning over the cashiers shoulder to see the total price on her screen, or holding up fingers to represent the total. You leave with your one thing, and collapse in your tiny apartment about an hour later, exhausted and disappointed, knowing that back home, you would have gotten everything on your list, not just the one, and done so in less then half the time.
If you're telling me that situation wouldn't be intimidating to you and overwhelming, you're lying.
This is what I face, every day. And not to whine, but boy is it harder then I thought it would be. There are parts where I thoroughly enjoy the adventure of it all- traveling around in a world unknown, venturing by myself with no link to the outside for help, daring to try and fail (which I do, almost every day) in the name of knowledge and adventure. But at the end, it leaves me exhausted, and timid to go out again sometimes. Especially by myself with no one to help me, cheer me along, or help me to laugh when I feel like crying. I fear getting lost in this city, with no way of knowing how to get home or a phone to call anyone with.
When I go out to swing, I'm so used to the folks back home being friendly, talkative, and helpful that when I go out here, I'm shocked. Even while dancing, Koreans are serious, say little (if anything at all) even when they can speak English, and almost never smile. I meet foreigners and get so excited thinking: Finally! I've found the folks who will become my friends! (B/c back home, swing dancers ARE my friends. All of my friends I either made through swing, or I got hooked into swing after I started it). But no. They already have their friends, and feel comfortable with the Koreans. I find myself staring on as the few foreigners I have just meet forget entirely about me and talk to the Koreans, who also don't speak to me. I mean, I do get it. The foreigners already have their friends. They aren't in the same place that I am, where they feel this urgency in them to make a friend with someone, anyone. I just wish sometimes they would think back to how they felt in the beginning and help me out by talking to me a little more. More then a few words- I just want a small conversation, that's all. Please?
I try and go with it. I know it'll take time for me to make friends- I've always been slow at this. I don't know why, I wish I did- maybe then I could change it. I just don't connect with people quickly, or easily. On the other hand, I have a tendency to rush things. I expect something to happen wayyyy sooner then it should. These other foreigners have been here for 2 years or more- of course they're going to be friends with everyone! I just wish I could have that one person who was my friend, who I could message on fb saying: Hey! Let's go climb Mt. Inwangsan this Saturday and see the temple. We could pack a lunch and follow the trail from the temple down to the old Seoul city wall, hiking along that for the afternoon until we decided we've had enough. I want to enjoy this adventure with someone! I want someone to be there to take my picture for me, that way I don't have to do it myself. I want a friend.
I've learned that you can't wait for someone to join you on the adventures you seek though. If you're patient and the time is right, they'll come to you. I guess I must learn the value of patience.
Feeling lonely and blue,
Rita
If you aren't, I'm really happy for you!
But I am. I've been struggling to learn the language (I was always better with ideas, concepts, and numbers- not languages), which makes living here difficult.
Just imagine this in your mind real quick: you exit the subway system. Everything in site is in Korean, with English translations under the subway names and that's it. You wander around for 30 minutes trying to find a store called E-mart (think Target). When you finally find it, it's huge. I'm talking, two stories. And EVERYTHING is in Korean. Now you can't speak the language, read the language, or understand the language- so you're on your own for finding everything. The aisles are long, things all placed together in some order, you just don't know what. You search every aisle for that one thing you're looking for. You've wandered up and down every conceivable aisle and are losing both energy and time. At this point, you don't want to turn back home since you've already dedicated so much time to this effort. You decide to ask someone. Problem: they can't understand you, or vice versa. You're left to resort to miming and pointing at pictures on things in an attempt to make them understand you. They laugh at you, and 50% of the time take you to the right thing. You rejoice in happiness when you find it, and decide to leave while you're ahead. At the checkout, there are no digital signs telling you the cost. So again, you are left to craning over the cashiers shoulder to see the total price on her screen, or holding up fingers to represent the total. You leave with your one thing, and collapse in your tiny apartment about an hour later, exhausted and disappointed, knowing that back home, you would have gotten everything on your list, not just the one, and done so in less then half the time.
If you're telling me that situation wouldn't be intimidating to you and overwhelming, you're lying.
This is what I face, every day. And not to whine, but boy is it harder then I thought it would be. There are parts where I thoroughly enjoy the adventure of it all- traveling around in a world unknown, venturing by myself with no link to the outside for help, daring to try and fail (which I do, almost every day) in the name of knowledge and adventure. But at the end, it leaves me exhausted, and timid to go out again sometimes. Especially by myself with no one to help me, cheer me along, or help me to laugh when I feel like crying. I fear getting lost in this city, with no way of knowing how to get home or a phone to call anyone with.
When I go out to swing, I'm so used to the folks back home being friendly, talkative, and helpful that when I go out here, I'm shocked. Even while dancing, Koreans are serious, say little (if anything at all) even when they can speak English, and almost never smile. I meet foreigners and get so excited thinking: Finally! I've found the folks who will become my friends! (B/c back home, swing dancers ARE my friends. All of my friends I either made through swing, or I got hooked into swing after I started it). But no. They already have their friends, and feel comfortable with the Koreans. I find myself staring on as the few foreigners I have just meet forget entirely about me and talk to the Koreans, who also don't speak to me. I mean, I do get it. The foreigners already have their friends. They aren't in the same place that I am, where they feel this urgency in them to make a friend with someone, anyone. I just wish sometimes they would think back to how they felt in the beginning and help me out by talking to me a little more. More then a few words- I just want a small conversation, that's all. Please?
I try and go with it. I know it'll take time for me to make friends- I've always been slow at this. I don't know why, I wish I did- maybe then I could change it. I just don't connect with people quickly, or easily. On the other hand, I have a tendency to rush things. I expect something to happen wayyyy sooner then it should. These other foreigners have been here for 2 years or more- of course they're going to be friends with everyone! I just wish I could have that one person who was my friend, who I could message on fb saying: Hey! Let's go climb Mt. Inwangsan this Saturday and see the temple. We could pack a lunch and follow the trail from the temple down to the old Seoul city wall, hiking along that for the afternoon until we decided we've had enough. I want to enjoy this adventure with someone! I want someone to be there to take my picture for me, that way I don't have to do it myself. I want a friend.
I've learned that you can't wait for someone to join you on the adventures you seek though. If you're patient and the time is right, they'll come to you. I guess I must learn the value of patience.
Feeling lonely and blue,
Rita
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Translate: I love you
So I've been meaning to sit down and type out what's been going on over here for a while now, but I kept putting it off. And instead of typing out everything (b/c I'm feeling lazy), we're going to do a recap instead! These things are the best moments from the past week that have made living in Seoul amazing:
~Complete strangers speaking to me in English to help me on the subway or the street.
~My students joking back when I tell them I don't have a boyfriend saying it's okay, me neither!
~"Teacher! Teacher! What's your waist size?" Me, "I don't know honestly.", student, "Ohhh, okay. You very slim. I jealous." Class erupts in laughter.
~Paying for some things at the store near the metro, and students helping me by translating what the clerk said.
~A complete stranger at first befriending me, giving me info on all the swing scenes, along with her phone number.
~Her name ^ is Lucy. "You're awesome! Thank you so much for all you're help! Seriously!!!" Lucy, "Yeah, I am kinda awesome." xD
~A student stopping by my desk and making a heart with her hands. I made one in response and smiled at her before she then left for her class.
~Dancing a little charleston (nothing huge) while waiting for the metro to stop, and the old man next to me dancing back in response.
Just some of the random things that have made my days recently. The beauty in communication, and sometimes even without. Love is translated no matter the barrier, and I love this fact. Off to bed, rest well everyone!
Love,
Rita
~Complete strangers speaking to me in English to help me on the subway or the street.
~My students joking back when I tell them I don't have a boyfriend saying it's okay, me neither!
~"Teacher! Teacher! What's your waist size?" Me, "I don't know honestly.", student, "Ohhh, okay. You very slim. I jealous." Class erupts in laughter.
~Paying for some things at the store near the metro, and students helping me by translating what the clerk said.
~A complete stranger at first befriending me, giving me info on all the swing scenes, along with her phone number.
~Her name ^ is Lucy. "You're awesome! Thank you so much for all you're help! Seriously!!!" Lucy, "Yeah, I am kinda awesome." xD
~A student stopping by my desk and making a heart with her hands. I made one in response and smiled at her before she then left for her class.
~Dancing a little charleston (nothing huge) while waiting for the metro to stop, and the old man next to me dancing back in response.
Just some of the random things that have made my days recently. The beauty in communication, and sometimes even without. Love is translated no matter the barrier, and I love this fact. Off to bed, rest well everyone!
Love,
Rita
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