What defines us? Do we choose it, or do the events choose us? Are we able to control them, or are we helpless to the grand scheme of things? Is it through superior design in the universe, or the hand of God? Or is life a series of chances, rolls of the dice, that we are not even a factor in?
I sure don't know, though I wish I did.
Who are we to gamble with the world, with chance, with life? Is it our place to really step in, demand that the universe listens to our cries, pleads, hopes, desires, anger and reproaches? There are many who would argue no. Life is simply an idea that we have created in order to express our anger towards what we see as something that is set to destroy our peaceful world. It provides an avenue to blame all of the negative for, while ignoring it when times go right. We can not sincerely expect that this idea our society has created to be something we have a right to mess with. Life is larger than you or me- it is the combination of numerous events occurring outside of our control, impacting our daily decisions. Even the food stalls we pass on the way to work can affect our moods and choice for the entire day. (research actually supports this)
I would argue that we are in some control of our life. We are the one who allows ourselves to make the choices that we do. What I think people, myself included, need to learn to accept, is that the choices we are free to make are guided, influenced and shaped by past events that we may or may not have been able to control.
For instance, I struggle with trusting people. My jadedness became apparent to me when in college and glaring obvious this year, though the exact source is a mystery to me, as there was never something horrific that occurred in my past where a dear friend betrayed my trust. Simply little things over time added up, like for others. Kids making careless jokes about another student being "retarded", and me choosing to not trust that child due to the fact that my brother is disabled and I took offense. Should this mean that my new coworker deserves the suspicion I feel towards him when he simply tries to be nice and help me out? No. It is simply the reality of the world that has developed around me, through my own actions and the worlds actions upon me.
I believe what matters most are the actions we choose to take upon realizing the hand we have been dealt by life that truly matter. The choices me make once we realize the mistakes of the past choices we have decided upon. It is when we try again, the re-roll in the game if you will, or do-over that God allows, that speak loudest in this world.
We have all been hurt by the people in this world, affected by negative choices others and we have made, scarred by the pain in some way. Whether we feel that pain by shutting down, shutting people out, refusing to think about it, screaming at the world, screaming at ourself, or break down in tears- we are all human. It's okay. We're allowed to feel the way we do. And we are allowed to feel angry at the world, angry at genders or people even- as long as we eventually step back from that anger and accept the fact that life is a combination of more than just chance and others, but us too.
Accept that life is simply that, life. We can control our choices, but only within as much as we can control all of our past at once. Humans are complex creatures, living as an endless riddle.
I once asked my ex if he ever regretted any of the choices he made with his past relationships, considering the fact that so many had ended so horrifically. He thought about it and said, "No." Naturally, I was shocked by this and asked why. He proceeded to explain to me that at one point, he had wanted that person, wanted that relationship, was happy in the state he was in with that person. How can he ever regret something he once wanted? He can't.
Never regret the choices you have made. Regret not learning from them, for they are the saving grace God has granted us I feel. It is only by the fact that we can learn from our past, come to the heightened understandings of who we are, the choices we have made, and the person we are existing as today, that separate us from other creatures on this humble planet.
I began believing in no regrets in college. . . I've forgotten what that means until now. No more.
What about you?
Love,
Me
Seoul, South Korea
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Embrace the Change
Exactly 3 1/2 weeks ago I noticed 4 or 5 tiny red spots on my inner thigh. I didn't think much of them, especially since they didn't itch, hurt, or anything. They didn't go away the next day, or the day after. I tried to figure out what it could be, and the only conclusion I could find was heat rash. So, off I went to the pharmacy store to buy calamine lotion before meeting Sam at the airport to head off to the Philippines for our weekend getaway. Little did I know that it was only the beginning.
Sadly, my time in the Philippines was tainted by the skin infection. By day 4, both of my inner thighs and lower abdomen were covered in this red rash type thing and painful. It hurt to walk. I started to panic as I began to see spots appear on my torso around day 6. I reached my apartment Sunday evening and burst into tears from the sheer pain of travel all day. By day 7, I called in sick and dragged my poor body to the hospital in hopes of an answer. I know I have no allergies, and being on no medication, I couldn't figure out a possible hypothesis. The doctors didn't know either. I saw 3 doctors my first day and had a skin biopsy. I would spend the next week and a half bouncing between the hospitals and my apartment, doing everything I can relieve the pain on my body. I was terrified, watching my skin become covered in this weird red rash thing, feeling so much pain that the physical act of walking hurt. I called home crying nearly every day.
Now, I look almost normal again. My torso is nearly completely back to it's regular skin color. The red has faded to a soft hue of tan, which is gradually decreasing back to the normal pale white it was before. My arms are an odd mixture of pale pink areas with the regular skin that wasn't affected. My hands are still peeling, but beginning to heal. My legs and feet are still covered in red spots, waiting to go through the process of peeling before they can change back to normal again.
I still wake up during the night, itching and uncomfortable. I still have to apply lotion to my skin every 6-8 hours, otherwise I bcome very uncomfortable as my skin loses the moisture I gave it through the lotion. I still expect to feel pain when I walk, and am surprised by being able to walk normal.
When my doctor diagnosed the skin infection as AGEP, I was surprised. I know I shouldn't doubt the doctors here, but I genuinely didn't believe that he would be able to figure out what was wrong with me.
(for those who are curious, AGEP is a very rare skin infection/reaction. Between 1-5/1,000,000 people are diagnosed with this every year, and 90% of the it is due to a drug reaction. I was one of the lucky few who contracted this through a virus or spider bite reaction. It causes redness in the skin, a scaly appearance where it first starts, extreme dryness, and the skin to peel off by about 3-5 layers. Total time, from start to finish, is about 2 weeks for the process as I've found now. Though b/c my body is going through it in different stages, it is lasting longer for me.) Because AGEP can become worse with pain medication, I was not allowed to take anything stronger than Advil. Given the severity of my discomfort and pain, this did nothing to help. I practically begged him for something, anything. When he told me he thought it might take weeks to heal, I almost started crying. I could barely function- making lunch and dinner took me 2x as long as usual (if I was able to muster the energy to do so at all), I was literally unable to sit still for more than a minute, nothing relieved the pain, and on days where I went to school- I would come home crying in pain.
To be honest, I was afraid. I was scared out of my mind. At the rate the skin infection had been spreading, I fully expected it to cover my whole body. It had already covered 50%. I fully expected to be in intense pain for another 3 to 5 weeks. So when Friday rolled around and I felt little pain, I was ecstatic! And then when Saturday crept into being, and I was still feeling good, I felt like singing and dancing for joy. I couldn't believe how amazing it felt- the pain was almost entirely gone!!! I could walk around without wincing in pain! I could walk at a normal pace! Hell, I could sit still again! I'm still a-ways away from being fully healed, but I'm grateful the worst is over.
As many of you know, the woman in charge for China and I agreed that now is not the best time for me to go to China because of this. Though in reality I may actually be fully healed by the time it came for me to physically fly, I have let the job go. I was sad and scared to do so, and second guessed it more than once, but I know it was the right move. While I had been working towards that job since last December, I know this was God's way of saying No to China. I don't know why, I won't even pretend to understand, but He no longer wants me there. Everything happens for a reason. Everything.
The idea of coming back to the states was nice for about 1 day, but the more I thought about the idea of actually moving back home, the more unsure I became. I believe that God will let me know when I find the right place to be, he will tell me somehow and have me feel it in my heart and soul. Every job I looked at, every country I searched, presented me with nothing. I was discussing this with my friends Sam and Greg this weekend, saying I didn't know where to go. I don't remember if it was me or them, but someone said I could stay in Korea. Then . . .
*BAM*
It hit me like a ton of bricks. God wanted me in Korea.
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Never in a million years did I see that coming! He wants me here? Here?! HERE? Well aren't you a funny man up there. If you had asked me any day and everyday of the past year, up to this past Friday, if I would ever want to stay in Korea, you would have received a resounding and confident, "No." Now? Now I'm fighitng like hell to stay. Thankfully I don't have to fight too hard. I only had to apply to jobs for a day and half before the emails and phone calls started coming. Ever since, recruiters for private schools are practically climbing through my computer and phone to get me to work for them! I just have to find the right fit. The only thing I don't like is that I will have to teach elementary (not my field AT ALL), and I will probably have to work till 6:30 or 7. Not the end of the world, but I rather like have my evenings to go to dinners, bible study, dancing or dance classes. I can work around it, just not crazy about it. Whether I stay for the entire year contract or leave early and join Sam in Thailand for teaching, I don't know yet. I don't know what the future will bring. Just one week ago I was going to China. That's part of the amazing quirkiness of life- it is completely unpredicatble, completely enjoyable, and insatiably adventurous!
Here's looking at you kids!
Rita
Sadly, my time in the Philippines was tainted by the skin infection. By day 4, both of my inner thighs and lower abdomen were covered in this red rash type thing and painful. It hurt to walk. I started to panic as I began to see spots appear on my torso around day 6. I reached my apartment Sunday evening and burst into tears from the sheer pain of travel all day. By day 7, I called in sick and dragged my poor body to the hospital in hopes of an answer. I know I have no allergies, and being on no medication, I couldn't figure out a possible hypothesis. The doctors didn't know either. I saw 3 doctors my first day and had a skin biopsy. I would spend the next week and a half bouncing between the hospitals and my apartment, doing everything I can relieve the pain on my body. I was terrified, watching my skin become covered in this weird red rash thing, feeling so much pain that the physical act of walking hurt. I called home crying nearly every day.
Now, I look almost normal again. My torso is nearly completely back to it's regular skin color. The red has faded to a soft hue of tan, which is gradually decreasing back to the normal pale white it was before. My arms are an odd mixture of pale pink areas with the regular skin that wasn't affected. My hands are still peeling, but beginning to heal. My legs and feet are still covered in red spots, waiting to go through the process of peeling before they can change back to normal again.
I still wake up during the night, itching and uncomfortable. I still have to apply lotion to my skin every 6-8 hours, otherwise I bcome very uncomfortable as my skin loses the moisture I gave it through the lotion. I still expect to feel pain when I walk, and am surprised by being able to walk normal.
When my doctor diagnosed the skin infection as AGEP, I was surprised. I know I shouldn't doubt the doctors here, but I genuinely didn't believe that he would be able to figure out what was wrong with me.
(for those who are curious, AGEP is a very rare skin infection/reaction. Between 1-5/1,000,000 people are diagnosed with this every year, and 90% of the it is due to a drug reaction. I was one of the lucky few who contracted this through a virus or spider bite reaction. It causes redness in the skin, a scaly appearance where it first starts, extreme dryness, and the skin to peel off by about 3-5 layers. Total time, from start to finish, is about 2 weeks for the process as I've found now. Though b/c my body is going through it in different stages, it is lasting longer for me.) Because AGEP can become worse with pain medication, I was not allowed to take anything stronger than Advil. Given the severity of my discomfort and pain, this did nothing to help. I practically begged him for something, anything. When he told me he thought it might take weeks to heal, I almost started crying. I could barely function- making lunch and dinner took me 2x as long as usual (if I was able to muster the energy to do so at all), I was literally unable to sit still for more than a minute, nothing relieved the pain, and on days where I went to school- I would come home crying in pain.
To be honest, I was afraid. I was scared out of my mind. At the rate the skin infection had been spreading, I fully expected it to cover my whole body. It had already covered 50%. I fully expected to be in intense pain for another 3 to 5 weeks. So when Friday rolled around and I felt little pain, I was ecstatic! And then when Saturday crept into being, and I was still feeling good, I felt like singing and dancing for joy. I couldn't believe how amazing it felt- the pain was almost entirely gone!!! I could walk around without wincing in pain! I could walk at a normal pace! Hell, I could sit still again! I'm still a-ways away from being fully healed, but I'm grateful the worst is over.
As many of you know, the woman in charge for China and I agreed that now is not the best time for me to go to China because of this. Though in reality I may actually be fully healed by the time it came for me to physically fly, I have let the job go. I was sad and scared to do so, and second guessed it more than once, but I know it was the right move. While I had been working towards that job since last December, I know this was God's way of saying No to China. I don't know why, I won't even pretend to understand, but He no longer wants me there. Everything happens for a reason. Everything.
The idea of coming back to the states was nice for about 1 day, but the more I thought about the idea of actually moving back home, the more unsure I became. I believe that God will let me know when I find the right place to be, he will tell me somehow and have me feel it in my heart and soul. Every job I looked at, every country I searched, presented me with nothing. I was discussing this with my friends Sam and Greg this weekend, saying I didn't know where to go. I don't remember if it was me or them, but someone said I could stay in Korea. Then . . .
*BAM*
It hit me like a ton of bricks. God wanted me in Korea.
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Never in a million years did I see that coming! He wants me here? Here?! HERE? Well aren't you a funny man up there. If you had asked me any day and everyday of the past year, up to this past Friday, if I would ever want to stay in Korea, you would have received a resounding and confident, "No." Now? Now I'm fighitng like hell to stay. Thankfully I don't have to fight too hard. I only had to apply to jobs for a day and half before the emails and phone calls started coming. Ever since, recruiters for private schools are practically climbing through my computer and phone to get me to work for them! I just have to find the right fit. The only thing I don't like is that I will have to teach elementary (not my field AT ALL), and I will probably have to work till 6:30 or 7. Not the end of the world, but I rather like have my evenings to go to dinners, bible study, dancing or dance classes. I can work around it, just not crazy about it. Whether I stay for the entire year contract or leave early and join Sam in Thailand for teaching, I don't know yet. I don't know what the future will bring. Just one week ago I was going to China. That's part of the amazing quirkiness of life- it is completely unpredicatble, completely enjoyable, and insatiably adventurous!
Rita
Thursday, June 21, 2012
A Lesson in Humility
Last year, around this time, I was beginning a summer camp for mentally disabled kids. I didn't really know what I was doing, I was 23, barely one year out of college, and scared out of my mind.
Only about 2 months or so before that time I had been sparked with the idea to start the camp by my father. He mentioned it as a joke- I took him seriously. Not many people knew that I actually started this camp. I was the owner, manager and lead instructor. I bought an LLC, researched insurance, created consent forms, hired an employee, and spent weeks preparing. Very few knew these things. I don't like to brag, and hate attention. (Though by writing this blog, I realize I am going against these very words. I need to talk about them though, that is how I understand my world and what I am feeling. Only by talking about things, expressing how I feel, am I able to see and grasp an understanding of my world, my goals, and the reality of the situation outside my head.)
Yet, when my former employee who took over the camp from me this summer announced that she had been given a $500 donation, I felt a pang of jealousy. Then I saw a comment later how we had started the camp. I was raised to not be prideful, but I found myself puffing up in pride anyways, wanting to yell at her. It was not the two of us who put forth hundreds of dollars to create the camp. It was not the two of us who worked one-on-one with the principal to make the camp happen. It was not the two of us who had spent weeks preparing lessons and activity ideas for the future students. And for her to say it was, hurt and offended me. She hadn't meant harm by her comment, so I couldn't be angry at her. I still was though. My father helped remind me that I, my students, and the parents will always know the truth- that should be enough for me. So, knowing my Dad was right, I did my best to let it go.
Then, I saw my former employee post another status recently. A reporter had heard about the camp. She is planning to interview my former employee about it. I felt a stab of jealousy strike me again. Attention, bragging, and being the center of attention are things I despise and feel anxiety over. I would hate having to talk to a reporter. I would feel horrid nervousness and dislike it, wishing it on anyone else except me.
But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't want to share with the world what the camp was about, who these kids were, make sure she had a real understanding for the intentions in creating the camp. It doesn't mean that I don't wish it wasn't me talking to her, instead of her. It doesn't mean that I don't want her to hear the story from my lips.
It's not that my former employee, and now owner of the camp, is bad. She is a lovely, kind and very sweet girl. She is just oblivious sometimes, lack in her attention to detail, and flighty. I worry about my kids under her care honestly, and don't trust her to always watch them as carefully as she should or tell the reporter how the camp really came to be. Admittedly, I am overprotective and worry unnecessarily about the kids, but for good reason. There is no one in this world I am more fiercely protective of than my kids who are disabled and my family. No one.
I sent my father an email telling him of the newest news with the camp. He said he already knew, and my parents had disagreed over whether to share the news with me. While I felt sad and hurt that I couldn't be there, I am still happy. The camp, kids and school are getting the attention they need and deserve. The camp was made for them, no one else. If anybody should have the spotlight, it's these kids.
This may sound like a trivial problem and concern, but living abroad allows me the distance and time to work on aspects of my personality that I long to change. Sort of like fine tuning a dance move. This is a part of my personality that I know could be better. Being able to let go of worldly pride and be content in the simple knowledge that I have done something. That should be enough for me, and one day will.
Love,
Rita
Only about 2 months or so before that time I had been sparked with the idea to start the camp by my father. He mentioned it as a joke- I took him seriously. Not many people knew that I actually started this camp. I was the owner, manager and lead instructor. I bought an LLC, researched insurance, created consent forms, hired an employee, and spent weeks preparing. Very few knew these things. I don't like to brag, and hate attention. (Though by writing this blog, I realize I am going against these very words. I need to talk about them though, that is how I understand my world and what I am feeling. Only by talking about things, expressing how I feel, am I able to see and grasp an understanding of my world, my goals, and the reality of the situation outside my head.)
Yet, when my former employee who took over the camp from me this summer announced that she had been given a $500 donation, I felt a pang of jealousy. Then I saw a comment later how we had started the camp. I was raised to not be prideful, but I found myself puffing up in pride anyways, wanting to yell at her. It was not the two of us who put forth hundreds of dollars to create the camp. It was not the two of us who worked one-on-one with the principal to make the camp happen. It was not the two of us who had spent weeks preparing lessons and activity ideas for the future students. And for her to say it was, hurt and offended me. She hadn't meant harm by her comment, so I couldn't be angry at her. I still was though. My father helped remind me that I, my students, and the parents will always know the truth- that should be enough for me. So, knowing my Dad was right, I did my best to let it go.
Then, I saw my former employee post another status recently. A reporter had heard about the camp. She is planning to interview my former employee about it. I felt a stab of jealousy strike me again. Attention, bragging, and being the center of attention are things I despise and feel anxiety over. I would hate having to talk to a reporter. I would feel horrid nervousness and dislike it, wishing it on anyone else except me.
But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't want to share with the world what the camp was about, who these kids were, make sure she had a real understanding for the intentions in creating the camp. It doesn't mean that I don't wish it wasn't me talking to her, instead of her. It doesn't mean that I don't want her to hear the story from my lips.
It's not that my former employee, and now owner of the camp, is bad. She is a lovely, kind and very sweet girl. She is just oblivious sometimes, lack in her attention to detail, and flighty. I worry about my kids under her care honestly, and don't trust her to always watch them as carefully as she should or tell the reporter how the camp really came to be. Admittedly, I am overprotective and worry unnecessarily about the kids, but for good reason. There is no one in this world I am more fiercely protective of than my kids who are disabled and my family. No one.
I sent my father an email telling him of the newest news with the camp. He said he already knew, and my parents had disagreed over whether to share the news with me. While I felt sad and hurt that I couldn't be there, I am still happy. The camp, kids and school are getting the attention they need and deserve. The camp was made for them, no one else. If anybody should have the spotlight, it's these kids.
This may sound like a trivial problem and concern, but living abroad allows me the distance and time to work on aspects of my personality that I long to change. Sort of like fine tuning a dance move. This is a part of my personality that I know could be better. Being able to let go of worldly pride and be content in the simple knowledge that I have done something. That should be enough for me, and one day will.
Love,
Rita
Monday, June 11, 2012
Good Morning Class!
I'm a month and a half shy of completing my contract here in Korea, and wow it's been one hell of a year! I've made some of the hardest decisions of my adult life as of yet, dealt with events that left me heartbroken and questioning my worth, and lived to tell the tale. Time here has granted me new friends both back home and here, showed me endless possibilities for what my life could be, and allowed me to experience some of the most exhilirating moments as well. Every day is a new chance to learn, grow and change from yesterday. I've learned so much, and though I know I still have tons to learn, I wanted to share the biggest points with you guys. So, with no further ado, here they are:
1. Run run, as fast as you can! Your problems can catch; they're evil, man!
When I left the US, I'll be honest, I originially applied to run away. I needed out the US, and FAST. After a few failed attemmpts at relationships, the last one exploding in my face, I knew that I had to get away from the country, everyone that reminded me of the terrible times, and just find my own way in the world. I was depressed living at home with no job prospects, and had had enough. So I sat down and decided to take the plung. I wanted to outrun my problems. And if that meant having to run half way across the world, then so be it.
But I didn't. I couldn't. I only postponed them. Your problems never really leave, they are only pushed back until a later time. My problems came with me to Korea; sure morphed and changed into a different demon, but they followed none-the-less. I'm not sure it's ever really possible to fully run away from your problems. I don't think it's smart to either honestly. Sometimes we need that postponment though, to regain our strength, figure out what we want and how we want to deal with our problem(s). Having the distance both helps and hurts, but I believe in my case was necessary. After a while, space to breathe and regain a calm mind when looking at the situation is what's really needed more than anything. Since personally I am a very slow thinker, I need a lot of time. I think everyone needs to decide if running is more beneficial for their problem, or more harmful, and then go from there.
2. To the edge, and beyond!
Living abroad will push you to your limit, and then some. Especially if you find yourself low on friends while living abroad, even if only temporarily. At one point, everyone finds themselves alone, with no one to talk to (especially in your own language), locked in their room/apartment all weekend. The stress of living in a country, with a different culture constantly presenting hurdles to understanding/thriving, will get to you. You'll feel irritated/unhappy/lonely/sad/etc, and you won't know what will make you happy again. You may even become depressed or angier than normal. These are things everyone is forced to confront and deal with at least once when living abroad I think. And if they don't, I kind of think they should. Life is not always going to be easy, and being in a different country will push you farther than you've ever been pushed before. It's important to have some sour/difficult times mixed with the sweet/wonderful ones- that way you can grow, learn, change and appreciate everything fully.
On the opposite end, living abroad will push you outside your comfort zone in a wonderful way! You'll feel encouraged and excited to travel and explore the area you're living in both locally and internationally. Trust me, once you get your feet wet with traveling to even one country on your own and realize "Hey! I CAN do this all on my own!", you won't ever want to stop! The joy of seeing other countries, wandering the streets of someplace you've never been all on your own, and finding yourself filled with confidence that you can navigate a place where you don't know more than one word will fill you with amazement and awe in yourself. The world really isn't that scary of a place, it just looks that way because it's so hard to wrap our minds around the differences in all of the countries, languages, food, and cultures. Allow yourself to be carried away by it, don't fight it, and you'll be shocked to find that the edge really wasn't as deep as you once excpected.
3. See your safety net? No? Oh, yeah, that's because there isn't one.
Moving to a different country scared the living daylights out of me the first night alone in my new apartment honestly. I was terrified. I was alone in a country where I didn't know how to say more then hello and thank you- as a girl who has only traveled outside of the country once in high school, that was absolutely scary! You don't really get a safety net living abroad. You learn to fend for yourself. If you want to go out to eat, you have to be prepared for the fear that locals have of foreigners, not being able to understand them or they you, and acknowledging that you probably have no idea what you will be getting to eat once you actually order. You are going to screw up and get lost most likely every day in the beginning. You'll probably look like an idiot doing it too. And no, you can't ask for help because no one speaks English (or they're too afraid too). Being here has forced me to find a strength within myself that I never knew existed, showing me that I am capable of so much more then I knew possible. It's also helped me learn the hard lesson of literally just going with it! I was always the kind of girl to want/need a plan for everything. I didn't know how to live without knowing exactely where I was going and what I was doing. I've learned to let that go (a little!). Simply showing up to a country without more then the address of a hostel doesn't frighten me anymore, I find it exhilirating! If you get lost, see where the road leads and have patience. If your food looks strange, try it anyways! (it might be really good). You don't need to have a plan, just let yourself be carried away by pure chance and wander the little streets and alleys. It's the hidden joys of this world and communities we reside in that provide our happiness. After 10 months here, I'm still disccovering things in my own neighborhood. That is what makes life great, what life is all about, don't you think? Be prepared to be surprised and let life catch you for once- you don't have to catch yourself every time.
4. Me! Me! Pick me!
I've also learned something else while living here. The person who really wants to be your friend will show you through their actions, and is probably the last person you were expecting to become one. As hard as it is, you cannot always trust people who act like a friend at first. When times get hard and push comes to shove, are they going to be there for you? Will they stick with you as a friend, prove their worth to you- or disappear and not apologize for it? I have friends who disappear for a month or two at a time, but I know I can call them friend because they have proven to me that they care and want to stay connected. The distance, time difference, and long periods of lack of communication aren't allowed to change what we both know to be true- our friendship means something to both of us and is valuable. We can come back together, and pick up where we left off like no time has changed. They ask about my happiness, and do the same for them- we care and take the time to let the person know it. Sure, you might not be their best friend, or vice-versa, but that doesn't mean that you can't always invest in the growth of a new friendship. After all, all relationships start somewhere and were new once too. Though you have to be willing to accept that sometimes, despite how it may appear, the other person doesn't feel the same way. There will be times where you have to let a friendship go, even if you were hoping for different. An interesting trend I've noticed in my own personal life as well: people I didn't originally want to be friends with, or think I could be friends with, are the ones who I have ended up being closest to. The people who have continued to push to be my friend, put up with my shifting moods, changing ideas, crazy schemes, and times of personal disappearance are the ones who have proved most loyal, caring and real.
5. It is just another country.
Don't be surprised when you wake up and realize that the foreign country you're living in isn't perfect. In fact, I hope you realize this! The sooner the better! You can see it for what it is- just a country. It's like seeing people as amazing or perfect- by putting them, or in this case a country, on a pedastole, you're setting yourself and them up to fail you. Just don't do it, okay?
6. It's gotta be the good life.
Living abroad is awesome! I get to travel on the weekends, sometimes out of the country, have six weeks of vacation, meet people from all over the world, and see things I never would have otherwise. It's freakin' awesome! I have learned so much that it's ridiculous, and inspite of the sturggles I've faced, I wouldn't give any of it up for the world. Sometimes, it sucks, yeah. But there will be days where you can't help be get that little voice in your head that says: "Dude! Look at me! I'm freakin' living in Korea! I ROCK!!!" And you know what- it's okay to think that, because it is awesome. You've joined the ranks of a very selective group of people in this world, a private community who will always understand when you have a tough weekend because you missed your best friends birthday/wedding. Or they'll get it and sympathize with you when you vent and cry over the stress of missing your family. They'll be right there with you when you're craving a simple salad, or long to simply see a beach and blue sky. It's a whole world unto it's own, and I sincerely hope that all of my friends can join me someday- you will never be the same again!
Love, Hope, and Dreams
Rita
1. Run run, as fast as you can! Your problems can catch; they're evil, man!
When I left the US, I'll be honest, I originially applied to run away. I needed out the US, and FAST. After a few failed attemmpts at relationships, the last one exploding in my face, I knew that I had to get away from the country, everyone that reminded me of the terrible times, and just find my own way in the world. I was depressed living at home with no job prospects, and had had enough. So I sat down and decided to take the plung. I wanted to outrun my problems. And if that meant having to run half way across the world, then so be it.
But I didn't. I couldn't. I only postponed them. Your problems never really leave, they are only pushed back until a later time. My problems came with me to Korea; sure morphed and changed into a different demon, but they followed none-the-less. I'm not sure it's ever really possible to fully run away from your problems. I don't think it's smart to either honestly. Sometimes we need that postponment though, to regain our strength, figure out what we want and how we want to deal with our problem(s). Having the distance both helps and hurts, but I believe in my case was necessary. After a while, space to breathe and regain a calm mind when looking at the situation is what's really needed more than anything. Since personally I am a very slow thinker, I need a lot of time. I think everyone needs to decide if running is more beneficial for their problem, or more harmful, and then go from there.
2. To the edge, and beyond!
Living abroad will push you to your limit, and then some. Especially if you find yourself low on friends while living abroad, even if only temporarily. At one point, everyone finds themselves alone, with no one to talk to (especially in your own language), locked in their room/apartment all weekend. The stress of living in a country, with a different culture constantly presenting hurdles to understanding/thriving, will get to you. You'll feel irritated/unhappy/lonely/sad/etc, and you won't know what will make you happy again. You may even become depressed or angier than normal. These are things everyone is forced to confront and deal with at least once when living abroad I think. And if they don't, I kind of think they should. Life is not always going to be easy, and being in a different country will push you farther than you've ever been pushed before. It's important to have some sour/difficult times mixed with the sweet/wonderful ones- that way you can grow, learn, change and appreciate everything fully.
On the opposite end, living abroad will push you outside your comfort zone in a wonderful way! You'll feel encouraged and excited to travel and explore the area you're living in both locally and internationally. Trust me, once you get your feet wet with traveling to even one country on your own and realize "Hey! I CAN do this all on my own!", you won't ever want to stop! The joy of seeing other countries, wandering the streets of someplace you've never been all on your own, and finding yourself filled with confidence that you can navigate a place where you don't know more than one word will fill you with amazement and awe in yourself. The world really isn't that scary of a place, it just looks that way because it's so hard to wrap our minds around the differences in all of the countries, languages, food, and cultures. Allow yourself to be carried away by it, don't fight it, and you'll be shocked to find that the edge really wasn't as deep as you once excpected.
3. See your safety net? No? Oh, yeah, that's because there isn't one.
Moving to a different country scared the living daylights out of me the first night alone in my new apartment honestly. I was terrified. I was alone in a country where I didn't know how to say more then hello and thank you- as a girl who has only traveled outside of the country once in high school, that was absolutely scary! You don't really get a safety net living abroad. You learn to fend for yourself. If you want to go out to eat, you have to be prepared for the fear that locals have of foreigners, not being able to understand them or they you, and acknowledging that you probably have no idea what you will be getting to eat once you actually order. You are going to screw up and get lost most likely every day in the beginning. You'll probably look like an idiot doing it too. And no, you can't ask for help because no one speaks English (or they're too afraid too). Being here has forced me to find a strength within myself that I never knew existed, showing me that I am capable of so much more then I knew possible. It's also helped me learn the hard lesson of literally just going with it! I was always the kind of girl to want/need a plan for everything. I didn't know how to live without knowing exactely where I was going and what I was doing. I've learned to let that go (a little!). Simply showing up to a country without more then the address of a hostel doesn't frighten me anymore, I find it exhilirating! If you get lost, see where the road leads and have patience. If your food looks strange, try it anyways! (it might be really good). You don't need to have a plan, just let yourself be carried away by pure chance and wander the little streets and alleys. It's the hidden joys of this world and communities we reside in that provide our happiness. After 10 months here, I'm still disccovering things in my own neighborhood. That is what makes life great, what life is all about, don't you think? Be prepared to be surprised and let life catch you for once- you don't have to catch yourself every time.
4. Me! Me! Pick me!
I've also learned something else while living here. The person who really wants to be your friend will show you through their actions, and is probably the last person you were expecting to become one. As hard as it is, you cannot always trust people who act like a friend at first. When times get hard and push comes to shove, are they going to be there for you? Will they stick with you as a friend, prove their worth to you- or disappear and not apologize for it? I have friends who disappear for a month or two at a time, but I know I can call them friend because they have proven to me that they care and want to stay connected. The distance, time difference, and long periods of lack of communication aren't allowed to change what we both know to be true- our friendship means something to both of us and is valuable. We can come back together, and pick up where we left off like no time has changed. They ask about my happiness, and do the same for them- we care and take the time to let the person know it. Sure, you might not be their best friend, or vice-versa, but that doesn't mean that you can't always invest in the growth of a new friendship. After all, all relationships start somewhere and were new once too. Though you have to be willing to accept that sometimes, despite how it may appear, the other person doesn't feel the same way. There will be times where you have to let a friendship go, even if you were hoping for different. An interesting trend I've noticed in my own personal life as well: people I didn't originally want to be friends with, or think I could be friends with, are the ones who I have ended up being closest to. The people who have continued to push to be my friend, put up with my shifting moods, changing ideas, crazy schemes, and times of personal disappearance are the ones who have proved most loyal, caring and real.
5. It is just another country.
Don't be surprised when you wake up and realize that the foreign country you're living in isn't perfect. In fact, I hope you realize this! The sooner the better! You can see it for what it is- just a country. It's like seeing people as amazing or perfect- by putting them, or in this case a country, on a pedastole, you're setting yourself and them up to fail you. Just don't do it, okay?
6. It's gotta be the good life.
Living abroad is awesome! I get to travel on the weekends, sometimes out of the country, have six weeks of vacation, meet people from all over the world, and see things I never would have otherwise. It's freakin' awesome! I have learned so much that it's ridiculous, and inspite of the sturggles I've faced, I wouldn't give any of it up for the world. Sometimes, it sucks, yeah. But there will be days where you can't help be get that little voice in your head that says: "Dude! Look at me! I'm freakin' living in Korea! I ROCK!!!" And you know what- it's okay to think that, because it is awesome. You've joined the ranks of a very selective group of people in this world, a private community who will always understand when you have a tough weekend because you missed your best friends birthday/wedding. Or they'll get it and sympathize with you when you vent and cry over the stress of missing your family. They'll be right there with you when you're craving a simple salad, or long to simply see a beach and blue sky. It's a whole world unto it's own, and I sincerely hope that all of my friends can join me someday- you will never be the same again!
Love, Hope, and Dreams
Rita
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Taiwan Sneak Attack!
Friday was a betty boop polka dotted shorts and yellow polo kinda day. :) I decided to head over to the 101 building for a sky high view of the city in the morning. It is the second tallest building in the world or something crazy like that! And the elevator goes 89 floors in 37 seconds. Woah is right!
Yes, my ears did pop 2 or 3 times on the way up and down. xD
The view was nice, though kinda hazy. I didn't stay long, as it's just a building with a high view (let's be honest here!), but I did mail my Dad a postcard from there. He now has one from me while in the N.Seoul Tower building and the 101 building. :) I like to think he really enjoys getting little surprises like that when I can.
I made my way back to the hostel to grab some cash before walking down the street to find a quick bite to eat for lunch. I ended up choosing freshly steamed dumplings from a street vendor, and boy am I glad I did! They were delicious and the best dumplings I've ever had! On Nom Nom!!! I also bought some milk tea, but it tasted gross to me sadly. :( After eating on the steps of the subway station, I boarded my first of 3 trains heading towards the coast. It was a 45 minute ride in total, but all above ground offering this great view of the city, mountains and surrounding landscape as we moved. I was in heaven! I listened to my music and snapped photos for the whole ride, taking in the breathtaking scenery. Semi run down buildings stand close together with wide, open streets running between them. Dark, mysterious mountains lie in the distance, half shrouded in storm coulds and fog. It is such a beautiful country really.
I disembarked at the last station and caught the bus to the fishermans wharf. It was a great board walk area with a little bridge and local shops. I strolled along, enjoying the ocean air against my skin again and smiling at the calm joy within. I sat and enjoyed a mango/passion fruit smoothie (yum!) while sketching the bridge into my sketchbook. I then thought, "Well, the sunsets from here are suppossed to be spectacular, and I still have an hour, so let's see if we can find the beach nearby." What the hey right? So, doing what I do best, I start walking. I walked out to the main road, turned left, and walked until I saw a small tiny trail that looked good. After coming away from the trees and bushes, I stumble upon a white sand beach with a stretch of black/grey rocks between the sand and ocean. The water had receeded and you could walk among/on the rocks out to the water. There were maybe 3 or 4 people there, all far away, and I was able to enjoy this isolated beutiful beach during sunset almost completely isolated. It was a dream come true, similar to my field of flowers. Only this wasn't tainted by other people nearby. It was mine, my moment, my space in time to enjoy the beauty of God's work and reflect on how lucky I am. Love captured in a moment. Joy.
I decided after the sun had set to grab a quick meal, snap some photos of the bridge and surrounding area at night before making the journey back home. (It was also at this point that I had to super glue the heel of my shoe back on, as playing on the rocks destoryed it! Woops! xD )
A shower and outfit change later, I'm excitedly exiting the subway and making the short walk to the Friday night dance in Taipei! The directions looked simple enough- walk straight, turn right at the first intersection, and it was on the corner of the second block. Easy pesy right?
Wrong.
I walked to the end of the block, turn right and walk straight. I reach the end of the block, cross the street and continue to the light of the next street. I double check the name of the street, expecting to see the name of the road it's suppossed to be. Red flag! It's not the road I need! I had somehow walked past it. I double back and see a small sign between two buildings, so I follow it around. It's at this point that I take my headphones out and see people milling around in this retaurant type place. I decide to go in and see if maybe that was the location. After wandering around for half a minute looking dazed and confused, I open a door and try to walk into the bar area. A girl stops me and says the dance is NT$350. Yay! I found it!
The lesson wasn't over and I didn't know anyone, so I plopped a seat at the bar, ordered myself an apple juice, and just watched. The lesson ended around 10:15ish, and the live band began. Oh yeah, it was wonderful! I was itching to dance honestly, so when I saw guy standing on the edge of the floor doing some low key charleston moves, I asked him to dance. No one else was dancing, and it was a small room with a small floor. The 9 member band played a semi-fast song for us that lasted probably 5 or 6 minutes, but it was awesome!!! We had the floor to ourselves, and I found out later that he has been dancing for 10+ years. No wonder he was so good and he had moves I didn't know! He asked me to dance again, to which I happily replied yes! That night, when I wasn't dancing, I was talking to someone new who approached me! Way to go Taipei! I meet and talked with more people from the Taipei scene in that single night then I did in the first four months of being at the Seoul swing scene I think. It's a little sad, but Koreans are very shy and nervous to speak in English. That night, the scene celebrated two birthdays, had one semi-jam circle (it only half formed for part of a song, lol), and a random chorus line form which I was part of! While small and young, I would definitely rate this is a must on any dancers travel list. :D
The next day I wandered around a local area that Akira recommended to me, which was really nice. It was simply a downtown local area where kids go to play in water, new bridal couples get photos taken, and river front access with one of the bridges there. I didn't stay long, as I wanted to go to the National Palace Museum, and planned on coming back later. Since it was around 1, I figured it was a good time to grab food. After wandering around, I found a tiny hole in the wall vegetarian place on a back street. Despite it's location, I was surrounded by locals sitting down and served a delicious meal of noodles with veggies and marina type sauce. Yum!
Okay, the National Palace Museum. It houses the largest collection of Chinese art in the world. I will be the first to admit that I am a huge geek for museums. When my ex took me to the Chicago Museum of Art, I was in 7th heaven- literally nearly running from one piece of art to another the entire 3 hours we were there. So naturally, being the nerdy, geeky, museum loving girl I am, I was excited! By day 3 though, my legs were sore from 2 days straight of walking for about 10 hrs/day, and my heels hurt so bad walking down stairs that I limped. Therefore, my ability to stand for long periods of time, and my patience of slowly strolling through a large, crowded museum was near 0. I breezed through that place, WAY faster then I should have! It just didn't have anything I enjoyed as an artist (mostly pottery, glaze work). The few rooms with religious relics and calligraphy were my favorites, and I spent the most time there. There was this crazy long line on the top floor to see some famous jade piece, and when I saw it, I laughed and turned around to start leaving the museum. I was done, and I knew it. While unquestioningly it is an excellent collection, it was not for me. If I had come on a weekday when it was less crowded, I was less tired, I might have enjoyed it more. But alas, I did not. I came on a Saturday at the end of a 3 days straight self-walking tour of Taipei! I rate it highly, but would change when I go next time around. Don't miss the gardens right next to it though, they are simply beautful and a great stroll with to enjoy the fresh air afterwards! I spent a fair amount of time there honestly- what can I say? I love nature!
After a meal at a local restaurant (first sit down meal the entire trip!), some night shots of the bridge and a shower, I collapsed onto the couch and wandered around facebook for a while. I ended my time in Taiwan by enjoying a fun conversation with Akira, a guy from Hong Kong, and a guy from Malaysia! I felt like an intellectual, discussing everything from daily life, language differences, to huge political issues, current events, and our opinions of various countries. You can't experience things like this anywhere else, and I felt very blessed to be able to participate in this modern day salon. People say the US is a melting pot, but I gotta tell ya, I have meet more people from various parts of the world at hostels and international lindy events that I ever have in the US. Truely amazing way to end my time.
Sunday morning I said goodbye to this country, and begin making plans for when I could come back next to visit and teach for a few months. Current list of countries I want to live in: 7. Number I have succeeded in living in: 2 (soon to be 3). :)
Taiwan, I grossly underestimated how amazing you are! I apologize from the bottom of my heart! Sitting on the plan Wednesday evening, all I could think was how I wished the plan was going to Cambodia (that country stole my heart). But now that I have seen and experienced your beauty for myself, I can honestly say that you are the best kept secret I've stumbled across so far. I imagine that there are tons more still to be discovered, but I am patient and they're not going anywhere. No need to rush life.
和平，爱，& 摇摆舞
丽塔
Yes, my ears did pop 2 or 3 times on the way up and down. xD
The view was nice, though kinda hazy. I didn't stay long, as it's just a building with a high view (let's be honest here!), but I did mail my Dad a postcard from there. He now has one from me while in the N.Seoul Tower building and the 101 building. :) I like to think he really enjoys getting little surprises like that when I can.
I made my way back to the hostel to grab some cash before walking down the street to find a quick bite to eat for lunch. I ended up choosing freshly steamed dumplings from a street vendor, and boy am I glad I did! They were delicious and the best dumplings I've ever had! On Nom Nom!!! I also bought some milk tea, but it tasted gross to me sadly. :( After eating on the steps of the subway station, I boarded my first of 3 trains heading towards the coast. It was a 45 minute ride in total, but all above ground offering this great view of the city, mountains and surrounding landscape as we moved. I was in heaven! I listened to my music and snapped photos for the whole ride, taking in the breathtaking scenery. Semi run down buildings stand close together with wide, open streets running between them. Dark, mysterious mountains lie in the distance, half shrouded in storm coulds and fog. It is such a beautiful country really.
I disembarked at the last station and caught the bus to the fishermans wharf. It was a great board walk area with a little bridge and local shops. I strolled along, enjoying the ocean air against my skin again and smiling at the calm joy within. I sat and enjoyed a mango/passion fruit smoothie (yum!) while sketching the bridge into my sketchbook. I then thought, "Well, the sunsets from here are suppossed to be spectacular, and I still have an hour, so let's see if we can find the beach nearby." What the hey right? So, doing what I do best, I start walking. I walked out to the main road, turned left, and walked until I saw a small tiny trail that looked good. After coming away from the trees and bushes, I stumble upon a white sand beach with a stretch of black/grey rocks between the sand and ocean. The water had receeded and you could walk among/on the rocks out to the water. There were maybe 3 or 4 people there, all far away, and I was able to enjoy this isolated beutiful beach during sunset almost completely isolated. It was a dream come true, similar to my field of flowers. Only this wasn't tainted by other people nearby. It was mine, my moment, my space in time to enjoy the beauty of God's work and reflect on how lucky I am. Love captured in a moment. Joy.
I decided after the sun had set to grab a quick meal, snap some photos of the bridge and surrounding area at night before making the journey back home. (It was also at this point that I had to super glue the heel of my shoe back on, as playing on the rocks destoryed it! Woops! xD )
A shower and outfit change later, I'm excitedly exiting the subway and making the short walk to the Friday night dance in Taipei! The directions looked simple enough- walk straight, turn right at the first intersection, and it was on the corner of the second block. Easy pesy right?
Wrong.
I walked to the end of the block, turn right and walk straight. I reach the end of the block, cross the street and continue to the light of the next street. I double check the name of the street, expecting to see the name of the road it's suppossed to be. Red flag! It's not the road I need! I had somehow walked past it. I double back and see a small sign between two buildings, so I follow it around. It's at this point that I take my headphones out and see people milling around in this retaurant type place. I decide to go in and see if maybe that was the location. After wandering around for half a minute looking dazed and confused, I open a door and try to walk into the bar area. A girl stops me and says the dance is NT$350. Yay! I found it!
The lesson wasn't over and I didn't know anyone, so I plopped a seat at the bar, ordered myself an apple juice, and just watched. The lesson ended around 10:15ish, and the live band began. Oh yeah, it was wonderful! I was itching to dance honestly, so when I saw guy standing on the edge of the floor doing some low key charleston moves, I asked him to dance. No one else was dancing, and it was a small room with a small floor. The 9 member band played a semi-fast song for us that lasted probably 5 or 6 minutes, but it was awesome!!! We had the floor to ourselves, and I found out later that he has been dancing for 10+ years. No wonder he was so good and he had moves I didn't know! He asked me to dance again, to which I happily replied yes! That night, when I wasn't dancing, I was talking to someone new who approached me! Way to go Taipei! I meet and talked with more people from the Taipei scene in that single night then I did in the first four months of being at the Seoul swing scene I think. It's a little sad, but Koreans are very shy and nervous to speak in English. That night, the scene celebrated two birthdays, had one semi-jam circle (it only half formed for part of a song, lol), and a random chorus line form which I was part of! While small and young, I would definitely rate this is a must on any dancers travel list. :D
The next day I wandered around a local area that Akira recommended to me, which was really nice. It was simply a downtown local area where kids go to play in water, new bridal couples get photos taken, and river front access with one of the bridges there. I didn't stay long, as I wanted to go to the National Palace Museum, and planned on coming back later. Since it was around 1, I figured it was a good time to grab food. After wandering around, I found a tiny hole in the wall vegetarian place on a back street. Despite it's location, I was surrounded by locals sitting down and served a delicious meal of noodles with veggies and marina type sauce. Yum!
Okay, the National Palace Museum. It houses the largest collection of Chinese art in the world. I will be the first to admit that I am a huge geek for museums. When my ex took me to the Chicago Museum of Art, I was in 7th heaven- literally nearly running from one piece of art to another the entire 3 hours we were there. So naturally, being the nerdy, geeky, museum loving girl I am, I was excited! By day 3 though, my legs were sore from 2 days straight of walking for about 10 hrs/day, and my heels hurt so bad walking down stairs that I limped. Therefore, my ability to stand for long periods of time, and my patience of slowly strolling through a large, crowded museum was near 0. I breezed through that place, WAY faster then I should have! It just didn't have anything I enjoyed as an artist (mostly pottery, glaze work). The few rooms with religious relics and calligraphy were my favorites, and I spent the most time there. There was this crazy long line on the top floor to see some famous jade piece, and when I saw it, I laughed and turned around to start leaving the museum. I was done, and I knew it. While unquestioningly it is an excellent collection, it was not for me. If I had come on a weekday when it was less crowded, I was less tired, I might have enjoyed it more. But alas, I did not. I came on a Saturday at the end of a 3 days straight self-walking tour of Taipei! I rate it highly, but would change when I go next time around. Don't miss the gardens right next to it though, they are simply beautful and a great stroll with to enjoy the fresh air afterwards! I spent a fair amount of time there honestly- what can I say? I love nature!
After a meal at a local restaurant (first sit down meal the entire trip!), some night shots of the bridge and a shower, I collapsed onto the couch and wandered around facebook for a while. I ended my time in Taiwan by enjoying a fun conversation with Akira, a guy from Hong Kong, and a guy from Malaysia! I felt like an intellectual, discussing everything from daily life, language differences, to huge political issues, current events, and our opinions of various countries. You can't experience things like this anywhere else, and I felt very blessed to be able to participate in this modern day salon. People say the US is a melting pot, but I gotta tell ya, I have meet more people from various parts of the world at hostels and international lindy events that I ever have in the US. Truely amazing way to end my time.
Sunday morning I said goodbye to this country, and begin making plans for when I could come back next to visit and teach for a few months. Current list of countries I want to live in: 7. Number I have succeeded in living in: 2 (soon to be 3). :)
Taiwan, I grossly underestimated how amazing you are! I apologize from the bottom of my heart! Sitting on the plan Wednesday evening, all I could think was how I wished the plan was going to Cambodia (that country stole my heart). But now that I have seen and experienced your beauty for myself, I can honestly say that you are the best kept secret I've stumbled across so far. I imagine that there are tons more still to be discovered, but I am patient and they're not going anywhere. No need to rush life.
和平，爱，& 摇摆舞
丽塔
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Taipei Getaway
When my coteacher told me last week that I had off May 23-May 28th last week, I was so excited. I jumped on my trusted flight search site, looked for the cheapest flights, and found ones for Taipei, Taiwan were super cheap. Done! After booking my hostel and finding out where swing dancing was in the city, I didn't really bother with more. It wasn't until Tuesday night that I finally sat down and made a list of things I wanted to see and do. Completely different from how I normally do things! Rather thrilling and exciting honestly!
After I landed, I got directions for which bus to take and was on my way to Taipei! I felt incredibly awesome to be honest, as buses terrify me, and I can't read or speak a lick of Chinese. Yeah, strange, I know. The bus driver was incredibly nice and came to get me when we reached the stop I needed though. I was able to find the MTR, which is the local subway system, and reach my hostel around 10pm. (The entrance to the hostel is literally just a door between two stores. It was deceptively hard to find at first!) I immediately learned that the woman working the desk had chosen Rita as her English name! How crazy is that! I also learned tonight that her favorite dog is the corgi!!! (for those of you who don't know, that's mine too!) I spent the evening talking with some of the other guests, and it felt really awesome. Last night I meet, two Taiwanese women working at the hostel who can both speak English, an American, a Korean who speak a tiny bit of English and fair amount of Chinese, a Japanese who speak Chinese and English, and a Chinese who speaks English. Wow! Man, I am slacking! I gotta get my learning on and pick up at least one language!!! (I think that will be my intellectual goal for the remainder of the year.) I knew this place was really going to be awesome though when, after dropping my things off and settling in on the couch, Rita 1 (the hostel Rita. I am Rita 2.) walked in saying, "Girl time!" while carrying two different nail polishes. xD Oh yeah, I love this place! After hanging out for a little while and speaking with one of the women on places to visit, I crawled into bed and gratefully drifted off to sleep.
Today I headed out to explore the city. Starting with Longshan Temple across the city, I slowly began to explore the lower corner of Taipei. The temple was beautiful, intricately detailed and heavily populated with believers coming to worship. Though not very big, definitely a must-see of the city! I decided I wanted to try and see the river, so being the crazy foreigner that I am, I began to walk towards the water front! Keep in mind, I'm one of maybe 5 white Europeans I've seen all day, and a female, walking alone in a part of Taipei I bet no foreigners ever go to. It was around this time that I began to notice the stares that wouldn't end until I returned to my hostel this evening. Sadly I couldn't figure out how to reach the river, and I was beginning to feel nervous being so far out honestly after a while. So, I found a little place on the side of the street for lunch, got this strange, yet deliciously warm, sandwich thing (I was craving street food, what can I say!) before meandering back to the subway. I explored Chian Kia Sheck Memorial Hall and sat in the shade of a small park nearby sketching one of the pretty trees. (By the way, London isn't the only city with soldiers who stand still! There were two soldiers at the entrance to the main building. They were so still, I couldn't even tell if they were real at first- dead serious! Even their eyes didn't move from what I could tell! As I was leaving, I saw a man walk over, remove the rope blocking one of the soldiers off, and pull his uniform straight for him. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.)
Seeing as how it was crazy hot, I went back to the hostel for a break. I was invited by Kang to join her and Akira for dinner and shopping at 6pm. What the hey, why not?! Since there was still 2 hours, I hopped on a bus and explored an old soldier village near Taipei Building 101. It was delightfully pretty there. Surrounding the area are modern buildings, with the 101 building looming just a block away, creating this really neat contrast between city and country. The area wasn't very big, you could walk through and around the whole place in less then 10 minutes probably. It's replicated to look like an old soldiers village, just scaled down I think. There were buildings, most of them empty though and only for appearance. There was wonderfully grassy areas, big looming trees, and really pretty flowers surrounding the buildings, each with its own brightly colored door. :) I even saw not one, but three Taiwanese woman all dressed up in gowns getting professional photo shoots done too. It was kinda cool. I've now seen wedding or engagement photo shoots in Angkor Wat, Cambodia; Hoi An, Vietnam; and Taipei, Taiwan! xD Something rather awesome about that! I tried to check out the 101 building, but the wait was 40 minutes, and I wanted to get back and take a shower before dinner. So I have left that for another day instead.
On my way back to the hostel, I found a butterfly on the sidewalk. I thought it might be dead at first, but it turned out to be alive and merely needed a little help. I took it to the side, where it could be protected from the wind a little, and passerby's shoes. It struggled for a few, crawled around on my hand before gaining enough strength to fly away. I don't now what it is about butterflies, but they seem to like me. ^.^
A mini self photo shoot, bus, and shower later, I joined Kang (a Korean woman visiting Taipei) and Akira (a Japanese guy studying Chinese here) for dinner at the local night market. (Though I didn't know we were going there at first. I didn't know what we were doing or where we going at all I must admit) It was really funny watching them speak to each other. They communicated through Chinese, seemed to argue every 5 minutes, and would occasionally remember I was there. I didn't mind, and just enjoyed the company. We idly walked the small night market nearby. I stood as they argued for about 3 minutes over whether to eat at one open aired buffet style restaurant. Something about traveling reduces my irritation level to near 0, so I found it entirely amusing. We finally decided to eat there, and it was good. On our walk back, I got some fresh squeezed orange juice (literally, I watched them grab oranges, cut them in half, squeeze the orange juice out and pour the juice in a cup!) and Kang got some fresh fruit. We all shared the fruit, so it was a yummy way to end the evening!
Tomorrow, I think I'll go to the Taipai 101 building and then explore the fisherman's wharf. In the evening, swing dancing! :D
Fantastico! Me gusta bailar!
(Some Chinese girl just walked behind me and showed me on skype to her Mom. Weird . . . and slightly funny . . . I think she's only late teens, wayyyyy early 20's at best.)
Alright, I'm out. After walking for nearly 10 hours today, I need some rest!
Peace, Love, and Traveling,
Rita
After I landed, I got directions for which bus to take and was on my way to Taipei! I felt incredibly awesome to be honest, as buses terrify me, and I can't read or speak a lick of Chinese. Yeah, strange, I know. The bus driver was incredibly nice and came to get me when we reached the stop I needed though. I was able to find the MTR, which is the local subway system, and reach my hostel around 10pm. (The entrance to the hostel is literally just a door between two stores. It was deceptively hard to find at first!) I immediately learned that the woman working the desk had chosen Rita as her English name! How crazy is that! I also learned tonight that her favorite dog is the corgi!!! (for those of you who don't know, that's mine too!) I spent the evening talking with some of the other guests, and it felt really awesome. Last night I meet, two Taiwanese women working at the hostel who can both speak English, an American, a Korean who speak a tiny bit of English and fair amount of Chinese, a Japanese who speak Chinese and English, and a Chinese who speaks English. Wow! Man, I am slacking! I gotta get my learning on and pick up at least one language!!! (I think that will be my intellectual goal for the remainder of the year.) I knew this place was really going to be awesome though when, after dropping my things off and settling in on the couch, Rita 1 (the hostel Rita. I am Rita 2.) walked in saying, "Girl time!" while carrying two different nail polishes. xD Oh yeah, I love this place! After hanging out for a little while and speaking with one of the women on places to visit, I crawled into bed and gratefully drifted off to sleep.
Today I headed out to explore the city. Starting with Longshan Temple across the city, I slowly began to explore the lower corner of Taipei. The temple was beautiful, intricately detailed and heavily populated with believers coming to worship. Though not very big, definitely a must-see of the city! I decided I wanted to try and see the river, so being the crazy foreigner that I am, I began to walk towards the water front! Keep in mind, I'm one of maybe 5 white Europeans I've seen all day, and a female, walking alone in a part of Taipei I bet no foreigners ever go to. It was around this time that I began to notice the stares that wouldn't end until I returned to my hostel this evening. Sadly I couldn't figure out how to reach the river, and I was beginning to feel nervous being so far out honestly after a while. So, I found a little place on the side of the street for lunch, got this strange, yet deliciously warm, sandwich thing (I was craving street food, what can I say!) before meandering back to the subway. I explored Chian Kia Sheck Memorial Hall and sat in the shade of a small park nearby sketching one of the pretty trees. (By the way, London isn't the only city with soldiers who stand still! There were two soldiers at the entrance to the main building. They were so still, I couldn't even tell if they were real at first- dead serious! Even their eyes didn't move from what I could tell! As I was leaving, I saw a man walk over, remove the rope blocking one of the soldiers off, and pull his uniform straight for him. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.)
Seeing as how it was crazy hot, I went back to the hostel for a break. I was invited by Kang to join her and Akira for dinner and shopping at 6pm. What the hey, why not?! Since there was still 2 hours, I hopped on a bus and explored an old soldier village near Taipei Building 101. It was delightfully pretty there. Surrounding the area are modern buildings, with the 101 building looming just a block away, creating this really neat contrast between city and country. The area wasn't very big, you could walk through and around the whole place in less then 10 minutes probably. It's replicated to look like an old soldiers village, just scaled down I think. There were buildings, most of them empty though and only for appearance. There was wonderfully grassy areas, big looming trees, and really pretty flowers surrounding the buildings, each with its own brightly colored door. :) I even saw not one, but three Taiwanese woman all dressed up in gowns getting professional photo shoots done too. It was kinda cool. I've now seen wedding or engagement photo shoots in Angkor Wat, Cambodia; Hoi An, Vietnam; and Taipei, Taiwan! xD Something rather awesome about that! I tried to check out the 101 building, but the wait was 40 minutes, and I wanted to get back and take a shower before dinner. So I have left that for another day instead.
On my way back to the hostel, I found a butterfly on the sidewalk. I thought it might be dead at first, but it turned out to be alive and merely needed a little help. I took it to the side, where it could be protected from the wind a little, and passerby's shoes. It struggled for a few, crawled around on my hand before gaining enough strength to fly away. I don't now what it is about butterflies, but they seem to like me. ^.^
A mini self photo shoot, bus, and shower later, I joined Kang (a Korean woman visiting Taipei) and Akira (a Japanese guy studying Chinese here) for dinner at the local night market. (Though I didn't know we were going there at first. I didn't know what we were doing or where we going at all I must admit) It was really funny watching them speak to each other. They communicated through Chinese, seemed to argue every 5 minutes, and would occasionally remember I was there. I didn't mind, and just enjoyed the company. We idly walked the small night market nearby. I stood as they argued for about 3 minutes over whether to eat at one open aired buffet style restaurant. Something about traveling reduces my irritation level to near 0, so I found it entirely amusing. We finally decided to eat there, and it was good. On our walk back, I got some fresh squeezed orange juice (literally, I watched them grab oranges, cut them in half, squeeze the orange juice out and pour the juice in a cup!) and Kang got some fresh fruit. We all shared the fruit, so it was a yummy way to end the evening!
Tomorrow, I think I'll go to the Taipai 101 building and then explore the fisherman's wharf. In the evening, swing dancing! :D
Fantastico! Me gusta bailar!
(Some Chinese girl just walked behind me and showed me on skype to her Mom. Weird . . . and slightly funny . . . I think she's only late teens, wayyyyy early 20's at best.)
Alright, I'm out. After walking for nearly 10 hours today, I need some rest!
Peace, Love, and Traveling,
Rita
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Late night writings
Sweet honest girl,
Learn to play the game.
Sweet honest girl,
You'll never be the same.
Naive blue eyes,
See the world all wrong.
Naive blue eyes,
Unsure where you belong.
Kind gentle one,
You don't understand.
Kind gentle one,
This is no dreamland.
Jaded girl, wise;
Let me in your heart.
Jaded girl, wise;
I'll be your fresh start.
---
Wary rabbit,
Always on my mind.
Wary rabbit,
It's you I long to find.
Woman misused,
Don't run in fear.
Woman misused,
Come close to me, near.
Long-distance friend,
Missing you always.
Long-distance friend,
My heart never strays.
Graceful, confused;
Let us meet tonight.
Graceful, confused;
In dreams, we hold tight.
------
Texted someone, and something they said inspired me. I haven't written a poem in years, but this just kinda came to me. I'm not very good with poems, but this seemed to flow. So I didn't fight it.
I realized tonight that when you find someone you don't mind waiting for, you know you've found someone worth waiting for.
-----
Life in Korea has been good this semester. Daily life is going well, I'm having troubles with my co-teacher, but that's normal at this point. Bible study has ended, but my group continues to meet up anyways. Having some troubles with a friend, but hopefully we'll pull through and salvage our friendship somehow. A friend from back in the states may be coming to visit, and I'm really hoping he decides to! It would be awesome to have a friend come here!!! Uhm, let's see, what else . . . Oh! I went swing dancing both Wednesday and Friday this week! It was great! I danced almost the entire time both nights! Though I found out from a guy friend that it's probably because the guys all find me attractive or something based on the shirts I wear. They're normal western shirts, but no one shows anything below their collar bones here really, or shoulders for that matter. And I do, so my normal shirts back home are a little scandalous maybe here. :/ Oh well.
I think the best way to understand the clash of Western vs. Easter culture is by describing a comic he told me about:
On the left side of the panel is a Korean woman. She is dressed in a high cut shirt, short mini skirt and heals. On the right is a Western/American woman wearing jeans and a tank top. A thought bubble coming from both of them, meets at the top of the panel and says "Whore".
In the west, it's okay to show upper torso skin, cleavage and bra straps. In the east, it's okay to show leg, butt and even panties. Just differences in culture.
I think it's interesting honestly, wonder how the differences came about.
Alright, bed time over here. Hope everyone is doing well.
Love you,
Rita
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