Wait! You mean I'm actually living in Korea?!

For a year?! 
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Yes, today it finally hit me.  I am living in Korea, for a year, alone, unable to speak the dominate language, teaching high school girls English. 
After some amazing closing ceremonies by an orchestra that only plays traditional Korean music (videos to come later), everyone packed up, went out one last night together, and boarded their respective bus the following morning.  About 1 hour later, we all climbed off our bus nervous and excited.  With my luck of course, I was the third one picked up after only having to wait about maybe 10 minutes.  Lee Mija, the head of the English department at my school, helped me with my luggage and whisked me away with barely a few moments to yell bye back.  We ate pizza and then visited our school.  I meet one of my three co-teachers, Chau-Eun, who thankfully speaks English very well before her, Lee Mija, the two vice principals and principal all sat down together.  The next 10 minutes consisted of me feeling so nervous I was smiling uncontrollably while they all speak about me in Korean.  It was fascinating and frightening.  My co-teach Chau-Eun, walked me through everything I needed to know about the school and teaching there.  Luckily I have tomorrow off to prepare and get myself together still, so I don't have to teach until Monday (whew!).  After this, I was off to my apartment- with a room on the top floor, 10 before then heading off to the supermarket!  There we went grocery shopping, I ran into another student from the EPIK program (YAY!) who said he lives really close to me.  I gave him my email, so I'm anxiously waiting to hear from him.  We brought my food back, unpacked that, and my co-teacher took me out for tea before then leaving herself.  Oh!  And somewhere in here I also exchanged my money for Korean won too.  After I was finally alone, I spent the next 3 1/2 hours unpacking.  I also cooked on a hot plate, tried my hand at the washing machine (sadly no dryer) and started my lesson plan for Monday.  I was stressing out about the fact that it's real, so me being the smart alick that I am, put in the movie "Be Cool"- to remind myself to, well, be cool.  xD  I think I'm mostly moved in. 
Goals/To Do for this weekend:
~Pick up a few more shirts for teaching (somehow don't have enough)
~Buy a pair of sandals for the school (you can't wear outside shoes inside the school)
~Explore my area a little bit, get to know it
~Find a swing scene for dancing!!!
I'll keep you guys posted and updated about what's going on.  I hope you guys are doing well and can't wait to hear about where life takes you! 
Love,
Rita

How to: Get Back Up Again

I have officially spent 3 days in Seoul now, and never before have I felt such homesickness.  It's scarey to be honest, especially since I've never felt such a feeling before.  Never at a sleep away camp during elementary or middle school, never while visiting family or friends, never while at college even.  So before this I was blessed, and now I think God has decided it is time for me to learn the value of family and friends.  I have this deep fear inside me that all my friends will forget about me, I won't make any over here, and I will be left to fall into this void where I am alone.  Today, I acknowledged that fear within myself, writing out and forcing myself to visually face every fear I was feeling on the inside.  A little later, I replied to an old friend on skype, admitting my fears.  He has been in my life for almost 7 years now, and knows me better then almost anyone.  I know he will understand once he reads my messages.  Knowing this fact alone, as odd as it sounds, comforted me.  I then messaged another friend asking him for help and strength during this time.  I admitted my weakness to another.  Once I did these things, it was amazing the weight that was lifted off my shoulders.  I turned on some music, allowed myself to get carried away by TobyMac, and began to feel a pulse come back into my step.  It felt amazingly good honestly!  I was even able to be happy, enjoy the idea of being in Korea for a year (I had been struggling with this since I missed my friends so much), and knew that now I could suck up the fear that was remaining inside and push myself to just move on.  (Of course it helps to have friends I can talk to about my fears, worries, etc. with as well!)  Well, I'm off to bed.  For pictures and the like see my facebook page.
Love, hugs, & kisses,
리타
^
Rita

Last Night Home

It's my last night at home.  I'm in bed, with my computer, cat and phone by my side like any other normal night.  Only thing that is different about this night is that it will be my last night at home in MY bed for a year.  Everyone keeps asking if I'm nervous, apprehensive, scared, etc.  To be honest, I don't feel any of those things.  It's not that I'm cold, I'm just so focused on what I NEED to do, and it's barely sunk in what I'm ABOUT to do.  I'm about to embark on a huge journey- one filled with wonder, excitement, fear, and adventure.  Where I will be living in a foreign country for a year, learning about numerous other cultures, trying tons of different foods, and exploring at least one foreign country to my heart's content!  The only thing I sort of feel right now is a small blip of excitement when considering this a future thing that I will be doing, not realizing it's something that's about to happen.  My brain is weird I guess, lol.
On a slightly tangential yet related note- how I managed to pack 2 suitcases with only 100 lbs of things in it to last me (mostly) for a year, I'll never know!  If the scales at Publix are correct (let's hope to God they are), my suitcases weigh in at 49 lbs, and 49.5 lbs.  The limit is 50- talk about cutting it close!  I really hope that the flights won't be too bad.  I should be exhausted, but for some reason tonight I'm not.  And the fact that my room is not a disaster area like it was only 6 hours ago is amazing to me.  I'm still going to put away one or two last minute things, but other then that, I think I'm going to paint my toenails (the one girly thing I love to do for myself every 2-3 weeks), watch a little tv, speak with one or two friends, and then go to bed.  I have to wake up at 6, be out the door by 7, and on the plane by 9 so that we can take off by 9:30.  I'll be landing at 4:40 pm KST on the 17th if all goes well (that's 3:40 am EST on the 17thfor everyone back home).  Should be everything from wonderful to horrid all at once.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I journey across the world, I think my sadness at not seeing my family and friends as regularly as I do will be a huge battle for me to overcome.  I will need all of your support during the next few weeks, so I thank you in advance. 
Love love love,
Rita

Let's prepare for the Preperations!

Late last week I received my contract in the mail!  Yay!  Downside?  The closest consulate to get my visa is in Atlanta, Ga. 
I hear a road trip in my immediate future. . .  fun, boring?  No way to know yet!  :O
Things are going well.  I have a semi-large to do list, which is only difficult to address due to the fact that I am still running my camp for another two weeks. 
My to do list thus far:
~Drive up to Atlanta for my visa
~Get any last shots that I need
~Email my program coordinator my flight details
~Go to 3 last doctor appointments
~Fly up to VA to visit with friends one last time
~Go on a small vaca with the family
~Call my credit card company
~Call my bank
I think that's it.  So, not too bad, it just feels like a lot.
On a fun note: I got a new computer today!!!  Yayyyy!  I love it, it makes me happy.  :)  Heehee!  I've needed a new one for a long time now, my old one was literally falling apart, was horribly slow, and required way more patience then should be asked of a computer owner. 
I love you guys, and hope you're doing well.  <3 *hugs*
Love,
Rita

Beauty, struggles and life

Welcome to week 5 of summer camp with Miss. Rita and Miss. K!  Things have been going well so far, though sadly with far fewer students then I had been expecting based upon how many parents signed their kids up.  It comes with the territory because it is a camp, but still makes it frustrating.  You know?  The kids have been well behaved for the most part.  Some are more difficult then others, requiring more time, patience or work, but I love them all the same.  I love challenges, so it's not so bad.  Miss. K and I have settled into a nice routine with the kids, and things have really started flowing with each passing week too.  I love having a routine, don't you?  It's great getting to know the kids and learn about them- everything from their quirks, likes, dislikes, and little habits they do.  It's things like this that make me happy.  :)
I found out only last night that I will officially be teaching in Seoul!!!  I am so excited about this, and can't wait to leave!  Only 5 weeks left now!  I realized while at swing dancing Friday night how close it is, and it hit me like a ton of bricks honestly!  I mean, wow! It's both scary and exhilarating at the same time, to think that in just over a month I will be LIVING in another country.  I honestly can't wait!  And the more I think about and prepare myself for what's to come (as best as I can prepare at least), the more I look forward to it.  So I know that I am on the right path, and making a change in my life towards a direction that is hopefully filled with peace, adventure and a closeness with God that I have been lacking lately.
Also, I've been researching master's programs that I find interesting or exceptional for when I return from Korea.  I found one recently that really sparks my interest.  It's called a masters international.  Basically the way it works is you pursue your masters degree at a college connected with the program, and at the end of your time there, you enter the peace corp for 2 years.  The peace corp counts towards your masters program, and you will be placed in the peace corp with a program doing what you are pursuing your masters degree in.  Which for me would be english education/teaching.  The only thing that has me hesitant is the fact that it is a 27 month obligation with the peace corp- which is a very long time.  But I'm thinking on it and the more I dwell on the idea, the more I want to do it!
Why live an ordinary life when you could live an extraordinary one?
Love you guys!  I can't wait to hear more updates from all of you on how things are going!
Always,
Rita

Summer Camp

First week of camp down, half way through the second, and 6 more to go.  Overall things have gone really well I guess.  Not too much to complain about. 
VBLX was . . . complicated.  Some moments were great, things flowed really well and I was so happy.  Some moments were horrible, full of anger and tears.  *sigh*  Not my idea of the perfect trip.  I got to spend time with people I hadn't seen for a long time, but not enough to feel satisfied.  Talked with one or two people who I needed to talk to, but man- were those conversations hard.  Bother.  I think I'm off to bed early.  Not feeling 100% emotionally lately- I don't know if it's the physical drain from camp or the sadness & fear I'm beginning to feel at being so far from all my friends, but I feel sad.  Oh well.  Sorry for not going into a lot of detail, just not feeling up to it really. 
Night friends, until next time.
Rita

Is it possible to learn too much?

Over the past year since I've graduated, not much has happened in my life- yet I've learned more about myself then ever before I think.  I honestly don't know how I feel about this.  Movies and books all say that self knowledge is highly valued and a wonderful thing.  But I can't help and wonder if the people who say this is a wonderful thing have actually ever gone through the process.  It's a nitty-gritty, tough, painful experience, learning about who you are, what you do, and the way you work.
I recently realized that I am a tortoise when it comes to making decisions.  Nay, a snail!  Not with all decisions, but with big ones, I mull it over for, well, forever.  Once I do make a decision, I follow it like a speeding bullet!  I wish I could find a nice balance, make decisions at a more balanced pace and keep my mind open once I do so that I don't get tunnel vision.  For instance, it's taken me a year to decide that I want to go to graduate school, and I still don't know what in.
I've learned that I need my friends to help me keep my thoughts straight.  If I don't talk out things on my mind, they get tied up like strings into a knot. 
I've learned that when I'm with someone, I need them to be consistent.  I need to know that they'll be there, especially when I need them.  I have to know that they won't leave- I have this fear that they will just walk out.  Whether it's because of my own unrealistic fear or because of my history, I feel convinced that every guy will just leave until they prove me wrong.  It's kinda horrible, but I can't help it.
I've learned that I do have a limit when it comes to people hurting me.  See, I had been seeing this guy in VA, a navy guy, and we had really hit it off.  I mean, we liked each other, a lot, and fast.  Well, we had a fight, he got deployed, and things went downhill fast.  During his time away, our relationship slowly faded into one of anger, misunderstanding, and hurting.  Friends who I had been talking to about the situation and knew how much the conversations I was having with him hurt me, all said stop talking with him.  All said cut him out of my life.  I don't just cut people out of my life though, that's not how I work.  He said something about a week ago that hurt me, a lot.  So I finally cut him out last week.  It actually felt good, removing a person from my life who had been so negative.  But he still managed to come strolling back in the other night .  I don't know how I feel about this.  :/
I wish I wasn't so afraid to be a bother to my friends.  I wish I was closer to my friends.  I wish I wasn't so anti-social so often, and that I was able to just hang out with people.  It's just hard for me I guess, I never was capable of being as social as other, like Eric.  I'm drawn to people like him because they bring out that part of me, which I love.  Oh well.  No point in complaining about things when that won't get you anywhere right?
I'm going up to Virginia Beach this week for VBLX.  Sounds like fun right?  Nooooot so much actually.  The guy who I was just talking about, ^ there, he lives in V.B. and will be attending some of the dances.  He also wants me to stay with him.  (That's so not happening btw)  One of my friends who lives in V.B. told me that he's been chasing after a new girl; and wouldn't you know it, I was assigned to her for housing.  I did this as a precaution, but boy does it feel awkward now.  I'm staying with a friend I trust, mostly, so at least I can avoid that part.  But to top it off, I have a friend in dc who wants me to skip entirely and visit them, knowing I'm feeling very anxious about this upcoming trip.  Can you say stressed?  Ugh.
In S.K. related news!  As part of my final application, I was required to order a copy of my diploma and an FBI background check both with an official apostille seal.  I mailed out the requests for both almost 4 weeks ago, and hadn't heard anything from either.  Well, I wasn't surprised about the FBI one, since that can take up to 8 weeks.  The diploma shouldn't be taking so long though, so I finally called them today to find out what the hold up was all about.  Apparently there was a hold on my account originally, it had been lifted, but the registrar's office hadn't been notified.  So my request had just been sitting there until I called them.  Lovely!  The girl I talked to asked if I wanted it rush delivered, and since I expected to have to wait another week or two for my FBI background check, I said no.  She said it would arrive within a week, guaranteed.  The day goes on like usual, my brother brings in the mail, and what's in the mail but . . . *drum roll please!* . . . my FBI background check.  >.<  Son-of-a. . .!  Well, I have to get the apostille seal anyways, and that'll take about a week too, so I guess it works out alright.  But still, seriously?  xD
My camp starts next week.  I have 21 kids signed up, and I'm really excited!  Nervous, but excited.  It'll help me figure out if pursuing a master's degree in special ed is what I want, since I've been considering doing so once I return from Korea. It's either special ed or english ed. 
I guess after a few weeks, I'll know for sure about special ed.
I'm off, time to cuddle with the kitty.
Love to all,
Rita