Peaceful Mornings

It's 5:58 on my last Sunday in Seoul, and I'm struggling to sleep.  My "A/C" unit is just blowing air that I can't even feel, so the oscillating fan is keeping me on just this side of bearably cool.  Most of my things have been packed into one large suitcase, and one small one, or mailed home in one of the three previous boxes I sent.  It's still hard to believe that by this time (Korean time) next week, I will be waking up in my best friend's house and driving to my folk's house to surprise them.
(By the way, fun note, my folks think I am flying in a week after I actually am!)
This week began the goodbyes with a few friends, mostly dance related, who I have known for a long time within the swing dancing world here.  Today I am going to my last game of D & D before having a goodbye party with my best friend Robert.  He leaves not long after me, so we are sharing the greatly-hated lime-light.  Of my friends who are still here in Korea, I will be seeing them all this evening.
Strangely enough, though part of me is in a way sad, I don't actually feel sad about it.  Leaving I mean.  Don't get me wrong, I am going to miss everybody here like crazy.  For what feels like the first time in my life, I have found a place where I can not only just BE ME, but I am considered cool and fun for it.  Maybe that sounds silly to you, or you're thinking- well, phef, I have that here at home!  Life back in the States never really seemed to feel quite right to me, and I always had this nagging sensation that I was faking to fit in, at least a little, most of the time.  Not always, not with everyone, but on the whole at least, it felt like I was trying to wear a shirt a size too big, and make it look good.  That just never works.  Maybe if I returned, gave the US a second chance, things would be better a second time around, but I digress.
I keep thinking how I feel happy, and okay.  Okay, as it-not sad, lonely, upset, worried, scared, nervous, or any other negative emotion one might feel upon saying goodbye to their home of three years.  Wow.  I feel okay.  How amazingly freeing it is to know that, the time has come to finally say goodbye to Korea.  For years, I fought to stay, now, I am ready to let go (DON'T start singing that damned Frozen song!  >.<)  All of my best friends have moved on, or will be soon.  Sam, my first best friend here, is now in Thailand.  Robert leaves for Finland and grad school about a week and half after me, and Mike will return to the States next year.  It's time, and the simple fact that my heart is able to say okay, with a soft smile knowing that this is right, is what keeps me from crying and grants me peace every night when I go to sleep.  It's one of the best feelings in the world.
Turning away from the now and looking forward to the later, I am also beyond excited for the change approaching!  CHINA!  China is a place I have wanted to visit for years, and I am finally going!  I remember being in 1st and 2nd grade, up through middle school even, and seeing my Dad fly to China, returning home late at night a week later. He'd always have a gift for me, something new from this foreign Asian land, and not only my home, but my world (food, my Dad's coworkers I'd met, etc) was filled by China.  I spent two semesters studying the history, culture and religions during college as well, adding to my desire of seeing this hugely powerful and ancient nation.  Yes, I know, it is not perfect, and there are many people who have issues with the policies.  To me, right now in my life, it is not so much China in reality, but the China I will be a part of (professor at a university, surrounded by students who want to learn, working with people who have a strong passion and conviction in actually doing the right things in life and supporting each other) that I am more than eager to dive into.  It is what I need for this time in my life, and I can feel that I will be happy there.  And happiness is the most important thing to me.  What is life without it?
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've last written.  I love you all, and hope you enjoyed this brief view into what's going inside my crazy mind at the moment. 
To my friends in Korea/Asia, I am going to miss you more than words will ever allow me to express.  To my friends in the States, I will be seeing you soon, get ready for some major hugs.
Love,
Always,
Rita

 

 Back: Sujin, Nuri
Front: Minji, Jiji

 Nuri, Sujin, & Jiji

 

 

 Yoogin

Kathy

 Sean

Omar

 Mike and Robert

 

 

 

Robert

 Sam

 

Anguk, at my exact favorite spot in the entire city.

Left, or Right?

Thursday morning I woke up and expected my day to be just like any other: roll out of bed, groggily move some stuff around, and finish editing round two on my first grad school thesis.  What I didn't expect was the conversation which took place only an hour or two later. 

After nearly three years of living overseas, I have become accustomed to gaining and losing friendships over time. When someone I used to be friends with before leaving Florida contacted me only a few weeks ago, I will admit- I was surprised.  Hearing from them, after barely holding more than 3 or 4 brief conversations in the past three years, felt out of the blue and sudden.  A lot has happened in their life, and it seems they are now able to be the friend they had wanted to be before, but couldn't.  This makes me happy, yet has presented its own difficulties as well ironically.  I say this due to the fact that, after one conversation with this person, it feels as though my entire world has been shifted, and I am readjusting my view on things I hadn't thought to question in years.  All because of one conversation.

. . .

What is so special about the way they spoke which has made me think about things, things which no one else has made me even stop to consider before now?  

My Dad has practically begged me for years, my friends regularly asking, when will I return to the States?  Every year, my answer is the same- maybe next year, maybe next year.  I used excuse after excuse to not return home.  I blamed the economy to start, as it is the easiest thing to point to.  Then at other times I'd turn to writings like this: http://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/everyone-say-im-running-away/ as a shield against naysayers to what I've been doing, the life I've been leading.  (Which, to some extent, I feel a kinship with this idea of running TO the world, instead of just fitting into the perfect little boxes society expects of us.)  Everyone called me brave, for stepping away from the mold and living a life in another country.  They applauded what I did, envied it from afar, and told me repeatedly how luck I was to have such an opportunity.  So to some degree, all of my reasons were real, had a valid foundation to them.  What I didn't want to admit to myself though, was that I needed convincing of all of it too. 

In the deep recesses of my heart, if I am really honest with myself, I have begun to feel like an outcast from my own country, as though I don't belong in America anymore, and couldn't fit in anywhere.  There is a fear that keeps me from speaking those words out loud and allowing them to pass through my lips.  How does one admit such a weakness to themselves, let alone to others?

While catching up over skype, my friend and I talked about our lives.  We updated each other on what had happened in the time span since we last really spoke.  There was so much, yet surprisingly little, that had occured.  (Isn't that always how it seems to go too?)  At one point, they asked why I was overseas, why I wasn't coming back yet.  I told them I wanted to feel special, different, and coming back would take that away from me.  Remove the one thing I had to hold up and say, "See, I am not invisible or the same as everyone else".  It was their singular response to my statement that hit me like a ton of bricks out of the clear blue:
It's not living overseas that makes me special, it's just me being me that makes me special. 
For some reason, hearing them say that, in a way which told me- hey, this is a genuine response being spoken without any thinking required- struck me and resounded within louder than I can even begin to explain.

A long time in the making, it only seems fit that I start facing some of the internal demons that I came to Korea to deal with originally.  Why did I need to go to abroad to feel special, and not invisible?  Why do I run away when I feel truly afraid?  Why wasn't I able to find myself back in America?  Why have I always felt like my parents daughter, or my brothers helper, and not me-Rita?  And why do I think I will lose everything that makes me unique if I return?  These are questions that have been playing through my mind for the past 48 hours now.  I'm starting to face them for the first time, and wow, it's hard.  Even the idea of simply returning to America is hard.  I've been living overseas for three years now as an expat; three years of being surrounded by a different culture, living within a foreign society, eating another country's food, and living a life most people will never experience.  Returning to everything I know, not only terrifies me, but seems boring. . .

It is topics like this one that I am working on addressing, trying to find the right answers to, if there are right answers.  I'd like to share an excerpt from our conversation with you.  My friend is 1, I am 2.

1. There are two reasons that people don't know you. 1. You purposefully hide behind a wall, not wanting to show yourself, and 2. People don't look. I mean, they look, but never really look at people for who they are, and what is so beautiful about them at their deepest recesses. And Rita, I mean it when I say there is something I see in you. You hide it deep, but you are so beautiful, people just don't look.

2. Of course I hide things deep. I struggle with depression, feel anxious and worried far more then I have ever let one, am terrified that everyone I care about will forget about me. Why wouldn't I hide?

1. Because the people who do see you, have never, nor will ever forget about it. I could never forget about you as long as I live. I have VERY happy memories of you. They don't fade. I hold onto them, and wont let them go. I don't want to forget.  I regret losing you as a friend the first time.  Just don't keep running, or I am afraid you will be running your whole life.

(After a little more conversation)

1. All I can say, is that the answer is not out there... it's not a place you can find, or something found by getting as far away as possible from the last problem that failed.  Maybe, just maybe you can think about resting on the shoulders of some people who want to be there for you.

As time has flowed on, I know that just like the rest of the world, I too have changed.  It's been hard, adjusting to the different life I have here, one I fought for so long to create.  Giving it up terrifies me in many ways, especially with nothing to return to in America.  (Though logically I know this isn't true, as I have friends and family there who love me)  Really, I feel like the States is just as big of a risk to take as Korea was back in 2011, and for the first time in three years, I'm honestly considering the idea of if America is the country worth risking it all for this time, instead of Korea. 

Thanks for following this rabbit hole mind wandering.

Much love,

Rita

Life Update

The greatest mystery in this world, in my opinion, is life.  Granted, this is my opinion, and I will openly and easily admit that there are any number of things that we as humans still do not understand.  Yet I know, for me, the greatest of them is this.  How is it that we think we can know so much of what we are supposed to do, how we are supposed to act, the way things are supposed to go, and then meet one person or go through a single experience, and all of that gets turned on its head?  Kind of amazing, and crazy, if you think about it.
While walking home tonight, I had a million thoughts running through my head, all of them chattering away at each other like it was an open floor debate among the 435 House members in the United States government.  They just wouldn't be quiet.  When I sit down to write or type them out though, they all start stuttering like a cute guy has just walked into the room, and they don't know what to do with themselves.  Thanks brain, you're very helpful.  Even now, I have been sitting at my keyboard for about 3 minutes trying to figure out what it is I want to say next.  Speaking has just always been a little hard for me, especially when it comes to revealing my inner thoughts and emotions.
Life has been...difficult lately.  It's had it's ups and downs, but the phasing between the two has been dramatic and sudden at times, feeling like a roller coaster that jerks you around a bit too hard.
I bought my plan ticket home, and have officially begun the count down to when I leave.  It's hard to swallow really, after three years in this country.  I fought for so long to leave, to get out, that now that it is happening, I find myself surprised.  In a way, I guess I wasn't sure it ever really would.  The exact date of my arrival will remain quiet though, as I hope to surprise my folks by arriving "early", one small thing that has been able to make me smile this weekend when I find myself becoming too serious.  While I am happy to see everyone, the idea of leaving this place is difficult at best.  I am leaving some of my best friends, and the place that holds all of my memories with them.  No longer will I be able to walk down the old familiar roads and remember happier times, or visit the places that were meaningful.  Once I leave, they are gone to me until/unless I am able to visit Korea again.  There is something so...final about it all that makes my heart clench in sadness, cause my throat to close tighter, and my eyes to get watery with tears. 
There are good things that have happened too, don't misunderstand.  I am almost done with my first thesis, a very exciting fact to me really.  I could tell you the topic, but it would sound overly detailed and complicated (which, if it's not, let's be honest, it's not a real grad school thesis anyways).  As my friend O asked after I shared what it was, "So has it been approved, or are the advisers still reading it?"  Basically it's about Korea's English Education system, and globalization, and a bunch of other unnecessary detailed stuff added on to make it sound unique and special.
The only other exciting news that has happened in my life lately is that my brother competed in Special Olympics State Competition for track and field.  He took part in the 50 meter run and shot put categories, receiving 2nd and 6th respectively.  Yeah, I felt like a proud sister when I got that email.
I find it hard to not doubt things, or people, quite frequently.  They can be a best friend who has been by my side for years, and even now I will wonder if they mean what they say, or find myself questioning them unfairly.  It's something I really need to work on, and a topic I just don't feel like getting into tonight. 
Right now, I miss so many people, and find it hard to feel alright.  My faith that all will be okay remains strong, I just wish I knew what "okay" meant.

Rita

Ferry Sewol

Recently, I was sitting at my desk here in Junggye while working.  Scrolling through facebook in my free time, I saw a news post from a friend about a ferry that had sunk.  I clicked and started reading.  Little did I know, this article would lead to a huge emotional sweep in my foreign home, and within me. 

For those not aware, on Wednesday, April 16^th, a ferry carrying over 476 students and teachers was making it’s way to Jeju Island in the south of Korea.  There were kids from a high school in the south of Seoul, kids the same age as the ones I had taught my first year here.  Only 174 students and teachers were rescued, with 248 students still missing.  These are kids, 16, 17, 18 years old, with their entire lives ahead of them.
Some believe they may still be alive, as the captain coldly told them to stay.  Stay, in a sinking ship, in their cabins, and they listened.  These kids, young innocent children, messaged family members, while the ship sank, saying “We are okay.  We are staying in our cabins like the captain said.  Don’t worry.”  No one knows if they are still alive, but they could be, possibly.

The next day, six of my advanced students walked into my TOEFL class.  They sat down and said “Teacher, we are mad.”  When I asked them why, they proceeded to go into the topic of the ferry sinking.  Sensing that this anger was genuine, I allowed my kids to just talk to me.  They told me about the kids, how they were abandoned, how angry they felt about what the captain had done, how slow the rescuers were moving, the frustration over the loss of life for kids so young.  This is one of the largest losses of life in Korea since the Korean War (or 6/25 as they call it here), and it has rocked their small worlds.  My kids are only in 5^th grade, their English of the same level as kids in America, and they had never experienced this before.  I realized that this was similar as 9/11 was for me, them not understanding how such a loss of life could occur, especially for those who are innocent and young, the same as them.  They were searching for a way to understand, a way to grasp how such an atrocity could occur, for it was beyond their capacity of understanding being still so young. 

While talking with my kids, I realized that I felt pulled by this too.  Not just in a human, compassionate sort of way.  More in the sense of genuine anger at the captain, true sadness and worry for the children who may or may not still be alive and trapped inside that ferry and frustration over the entire incident.  My heart honestly feels heartbroken over this event, and talking with my kids made me realize this.  (Even now, while writing this, I find myself tearing up.)  It struck me as odd, as I didn’t expect it to happen.  Granted, I have lived in South Korea for 3 years almost now- but it is still a bit unexpected that I am able to feel so close and connected to students and people here, feel like one of them, desiring to yell at officials who move to slow, to pray for the students and want nothing more than to swim out to that ferry myself and try to save the innocent students.  I feel like a member of Korean society, rocked by this event, too.  Having grown up in America, I never realized or even knew that this could happen.  When the Boston Marathon Bombing occurred, I felt distant from it.  Not to say I didn’t care, because I did.  Yet there was a space, gap, between me and my friends in the States who were saddened.  I didn’t feel the true impact of what happened, it didn’t sink in and hurt me as deeply.  I’m not sure why.  Yet here, now, these kids, these innocent young students, I feel drawn to them. 

Today, and over these next few weeks as they continue to recover the bodies and attempt to raise the ferry up from the water, I stand with my students and other Koreans.  I light a candle for the poor souls who perished unnecessarily.  I say a prayer for those who may remain living, trapped in a watery coffin.  I stand vigil with everyone here, hoping beyond hope, praying to God, that somehow, someway, they can find and rescue anyone still alive.  Bring a miracle to the families so unnecessarily ripped apart, answers to parents and siblings missing loved ones, grant peace to teachers and friends who lost individuals that they love.  I know for a fact, if I had had a single student on that ship, I would be scared, worried, and saddened beyond belief. 

So I ask you now, on Easter Day when all Christians are supposed to be rejoicing in Christ arisen from the dead, that you say a prayer for those who are lost to the world, buried beneath the harsh waves of the cold ocean water.  Pray that they too, can be risen up and granted a second life too. 

Rita

A drop in the ocean

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time.  I know everyone does, so I guess this makes me no different from others.  I don't want to relive everything, just some of it.  Bits and pieces.  You know?  Those perfect moments, forever etched into my mind.
I guess this is where the catch 22 comes into play- we only know a moment is perfect after the fact really. Very rarely do we know the true depth of what a single moment will mean while it is occurring.
Last year was very hard for me.  I was broken up with, rather suddenly and coldly to be honest, said goodbye to a best friend who left Korea, struggled with finances through graduate school, was living below the poverty line really for a while, said goodbye to another friend, and then found out I was lied to by someone I trusted.  It was a long year, and I'm only now beginning to regain my strength.
It wasn't all bad, don't get me wrong.  I completed an entire year of graduate school, paying for it by myself the whole way.  That gave me a huge sense of accomplishment that nothing can take away.  I began volunteering with some pretty awesome kids out in Ilsan, who I have come to love dearly.  At some point I also was able to visit home for my Dad's birthday.  It was the greatest gift I could have given him, and it gave me a chance to get away from everything in Korea.  One of my two "perfect" moments during the year 2013 were from that trip.  I'd like to share one with you now.
I flew out on a Saturday evening.  Living on the east coast of the US makes traveling back to the States a long and arduous trip.  My flight departed somewhere around 5:30pm, with an expected finality in my neck of Florida around 10:30pm after a short layover in San Fran.  My layover was delayed multiple times, until finally it was changed entirely.  Before my trip, I had been working double time in grad school to finish before my trip, to make sure I would have no work while home.  The exhaustion, mental and physical, was starting to get to me, I was fighting a cold, and felt irritated that I had made it half way back home only to wind up stuck in Cali.  Don't get me wrong, I love Cali, but it sure as heck ain't home.  Landing at 2 o'clock in the morning on Sunday, I felt tired from my travels, exhausted from school, and emotionally over-stimulated at seeing my Dad after a year away.
After so long of trying to stand tall on my own, I ran straight into my fathers arms, hugging him for the better part of a minute, letting the crowd flow around us like rushing water in a river.
That same day, I joined my family for church before attempting to enjoy lunch at a Mexican place.  After leaving, I met up with my oldest friend who I have known for 13 years or so now, A, and her boyfriend, A. We walked, talked, and just enjoyed each other's company.  I told her everything in complete trust, and she me.  As our time drew near, I said goodbye outside of Steak and Shake where we had been.
Turning away from saying goodbye, I prepared to say hello again to another dear friend.  Waiting, standing just as eagerly, nervously and anxiously as I felt, was my friend A.  A and I met at a swing dance exchange in South Carolina, and though I noticed him for his seriousness, he noticed me for my smiling.  After leaving for South Korea, he reached out to me.  Our friendship grew into a strong bond that still exists today.  He doesn't speak much, which works great, since I don't always know what to say and just need someone to be company with.  A goes with the flow, likes to be a bit crazy, and couldn't care less what people think.  Mostly, I am usually the opposite or more toned down. Yet somehow, our friendship balances out.  When we hugged, it felt amazing.  Being reunited with my best friend, feeling him wrap his arms around me in comfort, knowing that all of my fears and doubts that he, unlike so many other friends back home, had in fact never forgotten about me for one second, equated to a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders.  In fact, he missed me just as much as I missed him.  We walked to his car, he asked where I wanted to go, and I told him, "I don't care where I go, or what I do, I just want to spend time with you in person."  So off we went, me not knowing our final destination, him playing some music in the background, leaving everything behind as we drove down the road.
I slipped my shoes off, curled up for the beautiful ride through wild Florida everglades, and bounced between staring out the window and poking fun at him to make him smile.  About 45 min later, we pull into a parking spot, both of us slipping our shoes off, and walk towards the beach.  He lays a blanket down for us while I roll my pants up.  I walk out to the ocean edge, close my eyes, and breath in the open air.  When I open them, I see the expanse of blue before me, feel the sand below my feet, watch the storm clouds play lightening across the sky on the horizon, and turn to my left.  There, right by my side, is my best friend A. In that moment, I felt infinite, perfect, whole, accepted, loved, and calm.  I hadn't felt that way since my boyfriend broke up with me and my whole world came crashing down.  It brought me such peace to experience that after so long. Having him there, not needing to speak, knowing that someone sees me, cares, and will stand by my side while I take as long as I need to breath, brought me such comfort.
I'm not sure why I feel like talking about these things, and I'm not sure where I am going with this.  As my coworker has helped me to learn, sometimes we need to talk just to be heard.  So here I am, being heard by whoever reads this.
This next year will present more struggles for me.  I have started the third of four semesters for graduate school, will be leaving Korea (and with it, my family of friends I have come to love and cherish dearly), moving to China, and starting my next adventure.
Saying more hello's.
Whispering and hugging more goodbye's.
2013 was the hardest year of my personal life.  I've been through many hard years with my family due to medical issues relating to my brother, but for me personally, that was my worst.  Though this year will be equally difficult in some regards, I know that if I survived last year, I can get through this one too.

"Do not turn away, through cowardice, from despair.  Go through, pass beyond . . .  on the other side of the tunnel, you will find light again." ~Andrew Gide

Sometimes bad things have to happen to us, and we need to live through the difficult moments that life presents us, but it doesn't mean that that is all life holds either.  The bad moments can build up, weigh us down, at times feeling like it's trying to pull us under the tide.  What makes it even more difficult is that, for each bad moment, we need seven good ones just to balance it.  Balance- not outweigh it.  Pretty scary when you think about it.
I have found though, that sometimes, a single good moment can be powerful enough to take away from the bad.  One moment may be small, and appear incapable of great things; but often it is the unsuspecting and quiet moments that can yield the greatest strength.
That moment was merely a drop in the ocean, but honestly I know, it was the drop I needed that kept me sane, happy, whole, and from wanting to give up.
What moments have been the saving drop for you?
Always,
Rita

How I came to have itchy feet

Ever since I was little, I watched my father travel all over the world. He visited countries like China, Indonesia, Germany, England, and so many more.  By the time high school rolled around, I had a pinboard in my room full of photos from places I hoped to visit to some day, was reading travel magazines frequently, and watched way too many travel shows. Even more, I was selecting only universities that offered study abroad programs.  (though this later never became a reality, as we didn't have the money for me to afford it)  At the age of 18, I went on my first international trip to Spain and Morocco.  Sorry to say for my folks, I caught what is commonly called the travel bug, and I caught it bad.  My feet discovered what it meant to wander the roads of new countries, meet new people, try new foods.  And the desire to feel that again hasn't left since the fateful day I stepped foot in Madrid, Spain.

For many folks, traveling is something they do for fun, as a vacation, to get away for a few days.  For me, it is in my blood, in my bones, and feels as essential as breathing air.

After graduating college, I couldn't find work.  One year of life trapped at home with my parents was enough to drive me up the wall and back again.  I vowed to not live another day so dependent upon them, and more importantly, without work.  On facebook, I was friends with a girl who was finishing a two year run in South Korea as an English teacher.  I wasn't dating anyone, had no job prospects, and had always wanted to live abroad.  Basically, it boiled down to: why not, what have I got to lose?
Off I went, taking the plunge into the scariest pool I've ever encountered, and moved my life half way around the world.  It only took four months for me to try my hand at traveling by myself, and once I did- I was done.  I couldn't get enough after that.  All I wanted to do every month was go somewhere, and I took every excuse to do so.

Five day break?  Search where the cheapest plane tickets are to.
Three day weekend?  Let's go to another city in Korea.
Two week vacation in July?  Time to plan a big trip somewhere.

Setting foot in another country is the most exhilarating and refreshing feeling I have ever encountered.  A smile enters my face that doesn't leave during the entire trip, and will last for days, or even weeks, after.  A bounce appears in my step where none was before.
It feels as if pure happiness has been pumped into my veins, and without it, I begin to shrivel and die.
Traveling has become a life force, and the best anti-depression drug a psychiatrist never thought to prescribe.

I have been unable to travel beyond three minor trips for the past two years.  Mostly due to financial reasons, but also graduate school obligations have gotten in the way.  In my heart and soul, I can feel the boredom, sadness, and unhappiness that comes with being stagnant for so long.  All I long to do is walk through Incheon International Airport again, fly away to any country really, and get lost for a week or two.

My father is an extremely loving man, and has regularly told me all my life to do what makes me happy.

Well . . .

Traveling makes me happy.

• It keeps my depression at bay.
• Grants peace when sorrow overwhelms me.
• Fills me with wonder and a feeling of oneness with the world.
• Bestows hope when I feel downtrodden.
• Shows that I am capable of so much more than I knew.
• Grants perspective into my true strength lying within.
• Allows chances to meet people from around the world.
• Teaches me more about other cultures and societies than any book ever could.
• Opens avenues to connect and learn from those who have so much to share.
• Fuels my soul and refills my spirit when I am running low on hope.

It is one of the most important things I need in life to feel true happiness.
And I never want to give it up.

Next spring I hope to go on my first international trip in nearly three years.  I want to go backpacking across China, through Nepal, down into India, and then end in Thailand.  My feet are aching to get going, my heart is eager to feel the exhilaration, and thrill of venturing to somewhere unexplored, my mind longs for the exposure of a new society, and my soul is ready to discover different lands.  The fear, rush, excitement, nervousness, and joy of going to places I've never been are emotions and sensations I am ready to feel again. 
Curiosity has always been in my nature, and as time has worn on, that curiosity has shifted to exploring this world that we live in. 
For many, traveling is a chance to relax.
For me, and some others I've encountered during my life, it is a chance to feel alive again.

Love,
Your Wandering Swing Dancer,
Rita

A day in My World

Welcome to my little corner of the world in Seoul.  I've decided that today I am going to take you on an adventure.  You will be joining me as I venture out to Namsam Park.  It is beautiful out, a high of 18 degrees Celsius, the flowers are beginning to bloom, all making it a perfect day to visit my favorite nature area.  Let's go!  Are you ready?

  

Just walking down the street, we can already see the amazing trees in bloom!

 We start off by taking the bus.  It's either a 20 minute walk, or a 5 minute bus ride to get to the subway station, and as I am eager to get to the park, we are going to take the bus!  (They're not as scary as I once thought.)

A few stops later, we arrive at the subway station!  We are taking line 4 today, riding it for about 30 minutes, and will be getting off at Myeongdong.  

Wow, 28 minutes fly by super fast here! ;)

Now we're at Myeongdong, one of the big shopping districts in Seoul. But no shopping for us today!

We take off, heading away from Myeongdong and towards the large intersection.  It's an area my Mom says reminded her of New York.  What do you think?

I love this building most personally.  The architecture is a style I have always found to be quite beautiful honestly.  Though sadly this type is virtually non-existent in Korea, as their architecture styling leaves much to be desired.

We walk around the corner, up the hill, and towards the park.  Are you excited?!  You should be!  (This is the view facing /away/ from Namsan Park, the path we just walked up)

Now there is a cable car we could take, but where is the fun in that?  We are here for the nature walk, and the line is super long, so today we will pass. 

 Making our way to the trail head, we see more trees and flowers in bloom.  I love this weather, and my feet are itching to get going!

Here's the sign for the park.  How's your Hangul/Braille?

I get walking and immediately spot a cute little dog I know my friend S would love!  This is for you girly!

There is a giant walkway where only people can go (a nice rarity in Seoul, where scooters and even cars sometimes are allowed on the sidewalks), and lovely bushes lining the side.  I also immediately spot a small pond off to the side- you have to enjoy the little things, right?

Though I don't know what these little flowers are, but I love them!  Yellow is my favorite color.  :)

No more gentle rolling walkways, now we're going to climb up these stairs.  There are stairs, stairs, and more stairs!  Are you ready?  Here we go!

But wait!  Before we even start, I see a little bug struggling on a step.  I pick him up and move him to the side so he doesn't get stepped on.  He's barely the size of my pinky nail!  Bugs are supposed to be fuzzy right?  Can't help but wonder what he is...

We reach the first rest area, and just as is the Korean style, there are "work out" machines here to use!  Haha!  And azaleas! These flowers remind me of home, as we have a few of these flowering bushes back in Fl on our property. 

We will be going up there!  Have you caught your breathe?  We're about to begin the hard part of the walk, with about a 20-30 minute straight stair climb.  Come on!  :D

The hike is worth it though, with amazing views of the city along the way:

And the old fortress wall lines our walk too.  Something I always thought was so neat to see!  (I plan to hike the trail along the old fortress wall before I leave.  Maybe that's what I'll do next weekend.)

Peaking through the trees are some of Seoul's large buildings reflecting the setting sun.  I love the way they look, I couldn't help but find it beautiful.  What do you think?

We're getting close to the top now.  The cable car is near by!

Just before reaching the open area of N. Seoul Tower, there is a nice sized look out for us to enjoy.  It is far less crowded than at the tower, and offers a really great advantage of the city!

We finally made it!  We are at N. Seoul Tower!  A major hub for tourists, it offers one of the best views of the city.

 Now N. Seoul Tower is also famous for one other thing: Love Locks.  And boy!  Does N. Seoul Tower have love locks! 

The sides of the entire area are simply COVERED in love locks!  It's a bit crazy, and very ridiculous at times.  I didn't stay long, as the crowds bugged me and I wanted to get back to nature.  But it was a nice stop over on our little hike through the park.  :)
Everybody say "kimchi"! ㅋㅋㅋ (<- Korean for lol)

 We continue on our way down the hill.  Yay for no more stairs!

 Again we find our walk is running parallel to the old fortress wall.  Love it!  ^.^

Isn't the walk beautiful?

After a short time, there is a nice overlook.  I ask a cute Korean couple to take my photo.  Loved the sun setting in the background!

Just a bit down the road is a gate with a dirt trail.  Let's take it and see where it goes!

Look at this!  Reclined chairs in the middle of the forest!  Haha!  Only in Korea!

 Hey!  I found the trail again!

 The sun is beginning to really go down, and it is simply beautiful, don't you think?

 Walking along, I saw this tree, and just fell in love.  Stunning!

Oh my word!  There is no one on the path!  No people!  Do you have any idea how RARE it is to not be surrounded by people in Seoul!  I was really really excited!

See!

 Can you get over how beautiful the trees are in bloom?  I can't!

And look at the way this path curves, with both the yellow flowers and white blossoming trees!

 I was one happy girl!  ^.^

 Now, be careful getting close to the trees, don't step on their cute little purple flowers!

 Look at these beautiful giant ones too!  Oh wow!  How I love the large, silky white petals!

 Down the path is a large grove of trees.  Just look at this, an entire area full!  It makes me want to sit and lay there all evening.

 The sun is going down though, so we should begin making out way of the park.  Say goodbye for now.

Take a look at a better map of the park.  This is some of where we walked today.  :)  Mostly the east side, as I like that area more.

Across the street, we are able to look out over Seoul.  We can see the city coming to life at night.  It's rather magical, don't you think?

 The lights and colors of a city in the evening are some of my favorite in the color spectrum, and no other time of day shows them off so elegantly.

Making our way down the road towards Noksapyeoung, we see a bar called "The Library".  I think this would be my kind of bar!  Haha!

Tonight I am feeling noodles, so we will stop at one of my favorite places for dinner.  A little restaurant called Bao.  I think everyone should be capable of enjoying a meal by themself, don't you?  There's something fundamentally important about being comfortable alone.

After dinner we head back to the station.  It's time to make our way home- I have some work for grad school I need to get done, and it's beginning to get late.  We came all the way from the other side of the tower, which is lit up a vibrant shade of blue in this photo.  Man, we walked far today!

Inside Noksapeyoung Station, I always love to look up.  The design here is really neat and fun to look at.  (The two grey things you see that go in to the middle are escalators from the bottom view.)

And time to head home now.  We're in for a longer ride this time, but that's okay.  I have the book I'm reading right now, and won't lie when I say I'm thoroughly enjoying it!  

Just remember: 

If you follow your feet,

you will always end up right where you belong.

 <3

I hope you enjoyed this trip with me today, and were able to really feel everything I felt.  This was a day in my world, living here in Seoul, South Korea.

Until next time,

All my love,

Rita